Hi girls! I've been quiet for a few days because I've been up in Stockholm for work again and haven't had a second over to check my own email or anything. I've worked 10 hours a day for 3 days and the nights have been kind of rough -- I'm getting into the same sort of sweaty insomnia phase as when I was pregnant with Beiron. Don't worry, I've got an appointment with the boss tomorrow to say that this work load can't go on! But it's pretty cool to feel like I'm actually capable enough in order to work for that long -- it wasn't that long ago I was doing waaaaay more surfing than working and sneaking out early...
When I read what you wrote, Jo, about having your arms around me the next few weeks, I teared up. It was just such a sweet thing to say. And that I come back after being gone a few days and see that Helen and everyone is asking after me... it means a lot to me!
Jo, AF is definitely very tough. It was the week or more in either direction of both AFs after Beiron that I was barely functional. I greatly admire the strength that we see in you here. I just hope that you're not being "too strong" if you know what I mean! *hug*
Helen, did your docs say anything about IC? I've thought and read a lot about it since it always comes up on pages about late miscarriage, but it always says that it's "painless." Mine was so far from painless (and the sac was intact when it came out) that I feel comfortable ruling that one out.
I'm glad to hear that things are still tip-top for you, Katie. Out of curiosity, do you know how the healthcare system in Australia handles possible hereditary breast cancer? That is, in the states I was always told that I should start having mammograms at 25 instead of the usual 40 because my mom had breast cancer. But I moved here to Sweden at 24 and don't know up from down about how they handle it here. I believe they might actually test me to see if I have the gene. Send your mom our love!
Laney -- like I said in the preg thread, it's so unfair to have to go through the two late losses you did and then get smacked with a "it could happen to anyone" chemical pregnancy. I wish you just could have had a break, because you're due for one.
Hammi -- mini congrats on selling your apartment then. It's still a while left then till your pre-conception counseling. Are you anxious?
I'm going to have to cut this short and whizz through the rest of my surfing so I can get to bed. I can't believe I have to go to work tomorrow! After these three days my body reeeeeally thinks I should get to sleep in tomorrow! Hugs to the people I missed -- Paula, Sue, hope you guys are doing well!
hi girls!
well the last couple of days have consisted of me stepping about 1000 paces back in where my emotional state has been at. tuesday felt like i was having a meltdown - spent most of the day in tears. Even today at work had to fight them back at times and we had head office in! I have been trying to find 2 urns that would nice for Jack and Madisons ashes but just can't find some that are "perfect" for what i want! well, i have found perfect -they are in the states and can't seem to get a reply email back!
anyway -
katie -so glad your mum is getting looked after! How did it feel when they told you the head was engaging....they are wonderful words and such a great start of things to come............as for my friend not telling his wife about Madison, i do agree. I have avoided parties because i know she will be there but i can't avoid them forever and we do have one coming up that she may be at so it puts me in a bad place kinda. I would rather be emotional in front of her and she know why than be emotional and her be confused. unfotuneately what has happened to my babies is a reality and i am not the only one to have to deal with it so, i guess he has made his choice. just makes it hard.
tildy - so great to hear from you. I am glad you were talking to your boss about that workload -please be careful. I hope they were understanding! You need to relax sometime! and your statement about me being too strong - i am seeing my MIL this weekend for emilys birthday and am dreading it. It will be my first time seeing her since i lost Madison and i hope she does'nt upset me too much! She will ask questions and push the boundries but i am just hoping to have a good party for em. I think being too "strong" has been my problem and that has lead to me being a wreck this week.
hgirs -take care and double check things that you feel are not right from the past. you can only ask!! hope your followup went ok!
to everyone else -hello!!!
x jo
Jo: take it easy this weekend, don't let MIL get you down. You have been through so much and have every right to have a complete meltdown whenever you want. Just be kind to yourself and take time out when you need to.
Helen: I look forward to hearing your results, PG symptoms are such a catch 22 aren't they. You don't really want to have MS but when you do it is kind of reassuring. Hopefully your good news keeps coming!
Tildy: TAKE IT EASY! I don't wanna have to do any more skinny white ass whooping. You know I will if I have to!!
Just a quick update from me... I started my new job this week and I am absolutely stuffed. Clearly after 7 weeks holiday I have no match fitness and with so much new info to take in I am finding it incredibly draining. Anyway, off to Byron for a weekend of pampering to recover, I laughed when we booked this weekend about needing it after my first week of work but now it has actually turned out to be more true than funny.
Btw, 2 girls in my practise group are due in December. One is my boss and she knows what happened with me. She has been trying to have a second baby for 12 years (her daughter is 14) and has suffered several miscarriages and serious endometriosis, I think has even gone through ivf. Because I know what she has been through and because of how understanding she has been with me I genuininely feel happy for her. It might change in Dec when she has the bub but i was relieved to not walk into the office and burst into tears!!
Anyway, I am off to lie down on the couch and watch scooby doo with DS (with my eyes closed!!)
Paula - well done on returning to work and I can imagine it must be exhausting. Take your time and try not to stress about seeing the babies in Dec. I am always finding that the things I fear most after Nathaniel often end up being the ones I deal with best. Enjoy your weekend in Byron - so jealous!
Jo - I don't think it is fair of this man to ask your DH and you to 'pretend' you did not lose Madison. I hate when people make assumptions about what we can handle after a loss. If you see her at this party and you get upset and she asks why - just tell her. She will be able to handle it. He never asked you directly not to say anything and I think it is unfair of him to expect it of you. And yes I think sometimes by trying to stay strong it then comes and bites you occasionally. Just ride out the grief and let the tears flow. I also hope all goes well with your MIL and she is compassionate and understanding.
Tildy - take care and don't overdo it at work. I am glad that you will be talking to your boss about not working such long hours. Also in regards to breast cancer, I believe that my sisters and I will now have to start having regular mammograms. The strange thing is that as far as my mother is aware there is not history of breast cancer in the family - so it is a bit left field.
Helen - looking forward to hearing about your preg results. And don't worry about lack of symptoms - I had zero this time (and I desperately wanted every nasty one). My ob told me that symptoms are a very poor indicator of a healthy pregnancy. So just keep that in mind if you start to worry.
Hi to all, Lan, Laney, etc. I am having a complete mental blank. We need to do a list of all our names so I can save it and check back on it to ensure htat I don't forget to say hello to everyone. Sorry if I have not mentioned you by name!!!
Hi Ladies,
I just wanted to let you know that I got an unexpected BFP today. My DH and I were told to not get pregnant this month because of the loss last month. My AF was a couple of days late so I took a test and sure enough. I am really scared to death, can't stop crying.
Laney - I am lost for words! I want to say congratulations but I know that you must be very nervous and scared. I will say a prayer today that this little one is a fighter and has the strength to stay with you for 9 months. Will you go to the dr to have the pregnancy confirmed?
Sorry I havent been around for a while. Been flat out at work after my week leave, so by the end of day I am exhausted and just crash.
Everything is fine with me, went and saw GP yesterday, she is closely watching my thyroid levels this time (never has before) and I have bloods every two weeks. I have had to increase my dosage once already and close to a second time.
Going to my first Ob appointment on 21/10. Looking forward to it. Hopefully HB still there.....
We also discussed the amount of metformin I am taking (taking 3000mg which is quite high). Anyway she said to maybe start reducing a tablet per week to 1500 mg as I said I wasnt going to go cold turkey....
She is of the opinion that 1500 mg she is quite happy for me to stay on for the whole pregnancy, but I am sure the Ob will have a different view .
I think I will go with my gut feeling on this one.....
Tildy - please look after yourself. I was so glad to read that you are going to speak to your boss as you need to say something. How is the bleeding going???
Lan - Congratulations on selling the apartment. Is it official yet???
Jo - I read your post with tears in my eyes. Take your time with the Urns, I think it is most important that you pick the perfect ones for your angels.
Paula - You poor thing being so busy. But I am also jealous of you going to Byron. Enjoy and rest up. I understand what you are saying about babies being born in December. My angel was meant to be in November and I know a couple of girls who are due in this month. I am not sure how I am going to handle it, but I think it helps a little that I am pregnant at this stage.
Helen - I am waiting with baited breath from your results...... for a good result.
Laney - I have to say congraulations and I am so nervous for you. But I will be hoping all will be OK and this little bubs is a toughie......
Katiegirl - How are you feeling??? Getting too big to get around.. he he he. Is bubs still kicking you heaps???? Not long now girl, I can't wait...
It's still a while left then till your pre-conception counseling. Are you anxious?
I have been trying to find 2 urns that would nice for Jack and Madisons ashes but just can't find some that are "perfect" for what i want! well, i have found perfect -they are in the states and can't seem to get a reply email back! 
for a good result.
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