Oh my god Theresa! That sonographer!! I would have punched her out.. that is absolutely unreal.

We found out about Jayvan at one of my monthly routine check ups. I went to my normal Dr who just really took my blood pressure, weighed me, felt around in my stomach and then got out the dopler machine to listen to the heart beat. I remember the morning of the appointment I was laying in bed and thought I'd ask mum to come "just in case" I was in for bad news.

I went to my appointment and he couldn't find a heart beat, he assured me that everything would be fine but organised for an urgent ultrasound for me as "reassurance".
I went straight in to book my ultrasound, for 5 hours later, at 4 on Wednesday afternoon.

When I got there the tech asked me if I "still felt pregnant" which I thought was bizaar and then proceeded with the ultrasound. She didn't tell me if his heart was beating or not until I asked her, and all she said was no, and then got up to get the Dr. Thank goodness this Dr was lovely, he was very apologetic even though what had happened wasn't his fault, he explained everything he could see from the ultrasound and kept assuring me I hadn't done anything wrong to cause this. The ultrasound showed that he had died 2-3 weeks prior but somehow my body had kept him in and he continued to grow.

I was then sent to ED to meet with an OB who took about 2 hours to come in, they originally thought I'd be able to have a D&C but he told me that I would need to be put into labour as Jayvans body has become quite swallen and a D&C would be to dangerous. He gave both DF and I a sleeping tablet each and sent us home with orders to come straight back in Thursday morning at 7.30-8.00 and head straight up to maternity.

Thursday morning we got there at about 7.45, went straight to maternity and got locked in a little storage room sort of thing for about 1.5 hours while we waited for a room and for the OB to come in and explain what would take place. When we finally got a room I didn't get induced until about 11am, after that I was pretty much left to my own devices, other than the meals lady coming around and the nurses coming in to administer more pills into my cervix!

I was lucky though as I had the most gorgeous nightshift nurse who helped to deliver Jayvan. She had been through the same thing herself and I felt that she didn't try to be reassuring, she aknowledge that I felt like my world was ending and didn't pretend what was happening wasn't happening!! When Jayvan was delivered she wrapped him up in a little blanket and let us both see him, which I'm glad I did, as I orginally wanted to keep the image I had in my mind of the beautifully fully grown baby I had intended to have! I truely regret not holding him though, but at the time I just didn't feel right about touching him, I don't know why.
She gave us photos of him and everything as well, and then after I had had a shower and cleaned myself up they let me go home, that was it.

Over the week at home my bleeding had gotten worse and more painful so I went back in to have a D&C as some of the placenta hadn't come away (2cm of it... who would have thought that small amount would have caused so much trouble!) and had myself a 2 night hospital stay as I needed to be pumped up with antiobiotics through drip. Yucky.
Before my D&C I was packing myself though, after they tell you all the horror stories, some of which can end up leaving you to needing a Hysterectomy, I was convinced that's what I was in for! When I woke up I remember feeling around my stomach for stitches Thankfully there was none!