Powelly, Hun i have heard both sides of the fence. One saying it is good to let your mind and womb heal and a cycle come back into synch ...and the other that essentailly supports that if you are not ready for pregnancy, you won't fall pregnant. I think you should follow your gut on this one....My opinion love.
BEst wishes hm xoxo
Thanks Gigi! What would I do without you :-) My heart is saying wait, to have correct LMP etc. I think I'll enjoy a few wines in the next couple of weeks and then start a big TTC health kick! Gotta be positive don't we.
Sounds like you may have got the right time. Fingers crossed for you! I love when things happen out of the blue. I always think things happen for a reason. Good luck.
Hi to all. Sorry I haven't done personals. I'm thinking of you all, hoping the pregnant ladies are well and keeping sane and the TTC'ers are going to get a BFP this month! We'll be rejoining end August/early Sep!
Powelly - my obs gave the go ahead to try straight away after Amelia and she was born a few weeks gestation after your beloved son. Basically, I was healthy and emotionally ready to try. Guess DH had to be too. LOL. After Nicholas and Sophie my obs recommended waiting, but we knew we both needed to wait - for both emotional and physical healing and also to give us the chance to do some more investigations as to possible causes.
If you are ready to try again, and no physical reasons not to delay, then get on the TTC rollercoaster.
Gigi - you are so profound and so spot on. With both infertility and the death of a child, the sadness and pain remain life long. You don't get over it, just some days it's more at the front of your consciousness than other days, but it's never far away and the love and pain are always in our hearts. I am sorry that O caught you unawares...... hope you got to do some gardening. Could you send me some of your green thumb? I am hopeless. I like to mow the lawn, and smell the muraya flowers but that's the extent of it for me.
Dory, LOL...my green thumb. You would laugh. I sound so green don't I. Truth is, it is all intention. I try my best and with each project i hope it lasts longer than the last. This time I am trying to set up our courtyard...Will type later on that once I have got a few things done. But hun. I very much rely on my loving husband to pick up where I fail. He waters more often than I do. Sad really, cause i want to be better at it. I think I get bored. I do crave the garden and blossoms, green and calm it brings often. We are not all that different. lol xoxo Will be back later.
Sorry I have been MIA for a while. I have been off sick all week with a virus which started as a fever on Monday morning just after I got to work. I went home and DH rushed me to the Dr's. It was horrible, I couldn't get warm even with layers of clothes and the heating in the car on maximum! It left a few hours later but I have spent most of the week feeling very washed out and tired and headachey. Yuck.
I have tried to catch up with everybody's posts but my head is still a bit fuzzy so I will attempt a few quick ones... Gigi happy belated birthday, Chris great news on the surgery, Suz FX for you for this cycle, Dory you are sounding well... to everyone else.
AFM, we have decided not to do another IVF cycle with my eggs. My head, heart and gut are all telling me the same thing... that it is going backwards... so we are investigating doing an ED cycle hopefully before the end of the year. That is where we are devoting our energies now, and I have been in touch with some wonderful ladies who have been in very similar circumstances to us who now have beautiful babies or who are pg, so we see this as our path to our dream. It is not where we expected to be 12 months ago, but then I guess none of us would choose any of this heartache and grief if we were given the option. I saw some posts on YouTube from a lady who has been through two ED cycles, and something she said really resonated with me. We are already mothers... we are just waiting for our baby's spirit to come to us in a physical form whether it be through IVF, ED, adoption or foster care. I know some may not agree with this, but for me that really summed up how I feel.
So I guess what I am trying to say is that I understand if some here don't agree with the whole donor thing, and therefore, I will be respectful of everyone's wishes if you do not want me to continue to post in here. If you don't want me to post, just PM me and I will respect that. It is controversial, but we are trying to be as thoughtful and considerate about the whole process as possible, particularly how the donor is treated and then what contact our child may have/request from the donor in the future. I have done lots of reading and spoken to people on both sides on another site, and have found that are occasionally some stories of regret from donors, but on the whole they feel that donating was a wonderful opportunity to help others.
Thanks again all and I wish lots of and BFPs for everyone very soon.
oxo
Chez - hiya..... thanks for the special mention! I have to say the concept of already being a mother, but waiting for the spiritual form of our child/children to come to us in a physical form, resonates with me too, even though our journey's are so different.
Personally I have absolutely no objection to you posting in here - regardless of what form of TTC you feel is best for you. For me this is not a place to judge how each of us tries to achieve our dreams, but is rather a place of support and sometimes the opportunity to expand our belief systems. But the fact that you've thought about it speaks volume of the beautiful and thoughtful person you are.
OH hun, I couldn't agree with you more. Yes we are already mothers. My chiro has always pointed that out to me. Each and every month we nurture and prepare. i have often said that I sometimes feel like I have had so many kids...nothing else can explain the pure exhaustion we often feel.
I think you should stay here. I have no idea why you wouldn't. I don't understand what is wrong with choosing the ED route. Please ignore my ignorance. I don't get what the problem might be. This is your choice and making this decision might be the perfect next step for you.
I also think this is fab hun and very exciting. You go girl. Sometimes we don't get to pick how our children come to us. I believe we are the strong women chosen to have our angels. I also think that your next baby may choose a different route to the last. It is more complicated than most understand. Whatever happens...it will be perfect hun. I have such faith in you. You will do what ever is right when you follow your heart, head and gut hun. xoxooxoxox
CD16 and hanging in there...approx 7-8DPO. I have a very good feeling. I woke up this morning and I was semi awake. A voice said to me...(I know...I am hearing things) Are you taking your folic acid? As soon as i tried to focus on what was said and who said it...it disappeared. You know when you wake up and you are holding onto a dream, a feeling, a sense and the more you think about it or try to hold on to it...It drifts further from your mind. It was like that. I got up and took my multi.
I believe DD was with me today. A stone plaque caught my eye of a child with wings- fairy not cupid, and a mother. It was beautiful even though I am not normally into plaques. It looked like me and DD. Her tippy toed on my outstretched hand, flying with her little wings. Me standing below her with my feet on the ground, and she is placing flowers on my hair.
Then we chose another with a group of fairies dancing and skipping together though flowers. It is a reminder that she is not alone, and neither are we. It is a reminder of my dear friends on BB and other areas of our life and thier lost babies. So we bought that for them and for us. The medium did say last year that DD wanted a plaque to be remembered by. This might have been the one she chose. Funny how you find things. I have looked for something for months and today was a great day to find something we all liked. xoxo
Dory and Gigi - thank you both for being so understanding and saying such beautiful things. Your words have brought tears to my eyes and I am shaking while I am typing this. Having made this decision it feels so right for both of us. We finally feel like we have a very real chance to complete our family and hope that this works for us.
Gigi, the plaques that you have found so beautiful. I especially love your description of the baby girl balancing on her tippy toes on your hand putting flowers in your hair. What a beautiful picture! And the other plaque also sounds beautiful, recognising the other babies that surround your DD. Gorgeous.
Dory, thanks for your words. You mentioned previously that you were adopted and that felt special because of it. That is something that we want to make sure happens for our child. There is only one person IRL who we have shared this information with, apart from Drs and my TCM, and everyone has been so positive and supportive which is great. The only area which is hasn't been 100% supportive is my FS who has suggested I contact my GP about support through the ED process, which is what we were going to do anyway as she is much easier to get an appointment with than my FS, and a lot cheaper as well!
Thanks again to both of you for your understanding.
Gigi - LOL re the green thumb... me too best of intentions, but thwarted by the monotony of repetition. I think the plaque you've describred is just beautiful.... your DD just knew when she found the right one. BTW it's awesome to have our fur baby family together again, even though one littke blosssom struggled (hissing, growling, chuffing and then getting so worked up .... vomitting) with some patience, all have settled. I think it helps that the one who has been away no longer reeks of the vets but he is extra snuggly at the mo.. but that is not surprising.
Chez - I have no doubt your child will feel special.... IRL people may be more judgmental.... so if you encounter one, let Gi and me know and we'll hex them for you. Gi pls don't be offended by that.....
Last edited by dory; August 8th, 2010 at 05:55 PM.
: update
Registered User
to everyone else.
and BFPs for everyone very soon.
Bookmarks