Spring I am so sorry to hear that AF has showed up for you, was so hoping to come back to today & see that you had tested & the line was darker. But I hope drowning your sorrows helped (& I hope your head isn't too sore this morning )

And I completely understand how you feel about failing your babies. It is still how I feel sometimes when I am thinking about Alex & Thomas. If only my body had of been able to fight off whatever infection was lurking to cause my waters to break so early with Alex & if only Thomas hadn't of had an abnormally long umblical cord to have the extra to do acrobatics with & tie a knot into it! But slowly I have learnt that there was nothing I could have done to change these things, even though I beat myself up over it for months after they both happened. And feelings like this is why I sometimes wonder if I'll ever be able to be pregnant again with any certainty (which is why it is almost a daily struggle within myself as to whether or not we try again after we see the Dr's early next month) & manage to stay sane during the pregnancy.

Sweets it is natural to feel this way (in my opinion anyway) but the longer you dwell on it the less you will find yourself trusting yourself & your body next time & that won't do you or your bubba any good. Is there maybe someone you can have a big chat to face to fact about all this? Maybe even a counsellor?

Anyway sweets big hugs to you & you know we are always here if you need us.