TTC AFTER Late Loss/Recurrent Miscarriage/ Stillbirth Sept 2009

[cmeglles]

Hello everyone,

Samcougar I tried to look up the effect on antibiotics on sperm motility in some of the medical websites I have access to but couldn't find anything. I am reading a book called Trying Again: A Guide to Pregnancy After Miscarriage and in there it does say that some antibiotics can effect sperm but gives no specifics. Sorry I can't be of more help.

Chez- I am sorry that this past week has been so difficult. I haven't hit anything more than our 1 month anniversary of our loss and that was really hard for me. I hope your fruit cake is wonderful. (It does sound so good right now)

I just wanted to share a quick story because I was devastated last night--crying all night, luckily my DH is wonderful. My husband and I went out to dinner for my father-in-law's birthday last night. My mother-in-law is quitting her job and moving somewhere warm for the winter, we were talking about different jobs she might want to do when she says "Actually, I just want to be a grandmother. Could you get started on that?" I said "Um sorry that is in the plans, but there are some medical things that we need to work out" biting back tears. I kept my composure until we got home when I just lost it. She has suffered losses herself- how can she day that? I deal with the devastation of losing MY CHILD every day. It's not like I did it on purpose or that I don't want children. I have never wanted anything more in my life. The doctors I saw advised me that people will say the wrong thing---but how can anybody say that to me? My husband said she was trying to be funny-BUT THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT OUR LOSSES. I am tearing up now, and am still really upset over it. We are supposed to have dinner with them for an early Christmas next weekend--I just don't know if I can do it.

I am sorry to vent, but I felt you all might understand how distraught I am by her words.

I sincerely hope ALL of you do not experience this!

Hugs and Babydust to all!

[helle]

Hello everyone,

Samcougar I tried to look up the effect on antibiotics on sperm motility in some of the medical websites I have access to but couldn't find anything. I am reading a book called Trying Again: A Guide to Pregnancy After Miscarriage and in there it does say that some antibiotics can effect sperm but gives no specifics. Sorry I can't be of more help.

Chez- I am sorry that this past week has been so difficult. I haven't hit anything more than our 1 month anniversary of our loss and that was really hard for me. I hope your fruit cake is wonderful. (It does sound so good right now)

I just wanted to share a quick story because I was devastated last night--crying all night, luckily my DH is wonderful. My husband and I went out to dinner for my father-in-law's birthday last night. My mother-in-law is quitting her job and moving somewhere warm for the winter, we were talking about different jobs she might want to do when she says "Actually, I just want to be a grandmother. Could you get started on that?" I said "Um sorry that is in the plans, but there are some medical things that we need to work out" biting back tears. I kept my composure until we got home when I just lost it. She has suffered losses herself- how can she day that? I deal with the devastation of losing MY CHILD every day. It's not like I did it on purpose or that I don't want children. I have never wanted anything more in my life. The doctors I saw advised me that people will say the wrong thing---but how can anybody say that to me? My husband said she was trying to be funny-BUT THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT OUR LOSSES. I am tearing up now, and am still really upset over it. We are supposed to have dinner with them for an early Christmas next weekend--I just don't know if I can do it.

I am sorry to vent, but I felt you all might understand how distraught I am by her words.

I sincerely hope ALL of you do not experience this!

Hugs and Babydust to all!

Some of the things that come out of peoples mouths still amaze me... Just when I think I'd heard it all.
Just wanted to give you a hug, sweets

[Chez67]

Hi cmeglles

OMG - I can't believe your MIL said that to you! And when she has suffered loss herself, how could she be so thoughtless and selfish? Congratulations on remaining composed and saying what you did. I don't think I could have reacted as calmly as you did, and your loss has been so recent . I can completely understand your concern about seeing her again on the weekend for an early Christmas. I know you are very upset at the moment but perhaps you could try speaking to her on the phone and let her know that you are very upset by her comments. Maybe she was trying to express herself but didn't do it so well. Yes, people do say some thoughtless things, often when they feel upset themselves and don't know what to say, so they say something that makes themselves feel better and forget about the message that is being received. If you have an otherwise good relationship with your in-laws I would suggest you try to either work through this with her by explaining how YOU are doing and feeling and that YOU need HER support. Otherwise try to forget it and move on, but that will be very difficult if you are anything like me - I'm an elephant and never forget those sorts of things.

I really hope you are able to get through this. Each day can be so hard without having to put up with thoughtless cr@p like that. Sending you lots of love and babydust.
oxo