cmegelles - Have you been getting lots of snow in New England? One of my travel wishes is to see New England in the fall ( autumn for we aussies). I was living in Detroit, Michigan for a little while in 2000 (OMG that is 10 years ago now!) but wasn't there for fall. DH was for the start of that season and the photos he has are pretty amazing,and that's just suburbia. I hear the fall in New England is just amazing.

Gigi1 - I hear you sis. I wasn't ready so say goodbye to 2009 because it was the year I met my angel babies. And also because it might mean letting go of my grief a little. And my grief is a tangible connection to my angels. But you are right, it would be nice to have the pain eased. I am not angry. If you don't mind me asking what are you angry about? Angry that life is so unfair? I am just curious is all, esp. because I am not angry I want to understand it a little. I was angry for a few days this year, but I can't recapture the feeling and can't put my finger on why exactly I was angry. If you don't want to talk about it because it's counter productive to your healing, then tell me to sod off and mind my own business - I won't be offended if you do.

As for trying again, good on you. It takes a lot of courage. I hope you both felt connected with each other. After Amelia we tried again as soon as we could for pretty much the same reason you have given, the journey is going to be hard no matter when you do it and I guessed I would be sad for a long time, so there was no point waiting until I wasn't sad. After Nicholas and Sophie we have waited, because we both needed some time to heal but am ready to face it all again. In fact, I was really excited when I did try again. Isn't that just the best? Imagine it - to actually feel excited. What a rush. Hope you get that too.

You will be ready when it happens. You will be scared too, but that's ok.

Chez67 - thanks. I just love your username. The nickname I have for one of my favourite aunts is BigChez, for her big personality and indomitable spirit. One of my cousins friends came up with it and it has stuck. Even my cousin uses it. I don't think BigChez much cares for it, but I think she knows the intentions behind it are good.

Beata70 - how are you doing on the first day of 2010?

AFM - I am travelling pretty well considering. Have some weird pain in my hips and some pain radiating on the right side of my neck, but it's not too bad. Guess its off to the physio for me. LOL maybe its the 7 day shag challenge I have just completed. Sounds so crass in a way to make a joke of it, but the journey was nice. DH and I were on holidays at home together and it was just nice to affirm our relationship.

Aries, Blessedatlast, Dimples and anyone else I have missed - you are you going?