Hi Beata. The problem with IVF PGD is multiple. They may not be able to create the probe to test a single cell of the embryo. It could take years to develop if they could (and we don't have years). Fertile couples have the same or worse chance of conception with IVF PGD, as the IVF process is the same, but the embyros may be defective. And the deciding factor for us - they can only test for one thing. So assuming a whole heap of things lined up and we produced an embryo that was unaffected by ARPKD (the genetic disease), the baby could still have chromosone or other issues and we may find ourselves in the same painful position. Weighing up probabilities, possibilities and our own emotional strength, it's not something we'll pursue at this time.

We still have 75% chance of an unaffected baby. So when the time comes, we'll close our eyes, wish on a star, cross everything and hope we get a healthy child.

I think anyone who's held their child in their arms or dreamed of holding their baby knows just how important it is to have a baby. I have friends who choose to remain childless and they'll never understand this bone deep yearning for children. Which is fine for them, but not for us. I suppose it is like I could not understand why some people choose to have a large family until Leo was born and the love that came was amazing. Then I understood why people would choose to do it. We won't, but I can understand better now.

Like no-one who's never lost a child can understand the agony of it.