Ask your beautiful boys for help. I know they are not far from you and I know, their love has such incredible power. Maybe they can help you and then just listen to your intuition for little messages from them in the things you do. Know they are there. I know too well that is not good enough and you would much rather them driving you mad on this earth...They are there, hun, they are with you. They feel your love and they love you.

Have you thought of speaking to a Medium? Please excuse this question if it is not your beliefs. I don't want to insult or be rude. xoox