TTC after Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth or Loss after 1st trimester ~ December 07

[Katiegirl]

Hi Everyone. Last night was fun - met the hairdresser and got to say goodbye to her the first time I met her! And yes Jo, his maintenance really only extends to his hair which he keeps short but is particular about! It was lovely to catch up with a few other people and DH appreciated me coming along. Today is his actual birthday (even though he had his part some weeks ago) so I have been spoiling him today.

Simba - feel free to join us. I would appreciate you telling us your story. We found out at 20 week scan that our baby Nathaniel had passed at 15 weeks. Due to the amount of time that had passed, I had to have a D&C which was incredibly awful but also physically numbing. I came out feeling empty and of course was never able to hold my baby Nathaniel. We do have the DVD from the 12 week scan but I have still not been able to watch it yet. We had Nathaniel cremated and have his ashes in a memorial box with his other items. I am very protective of the memorial box and only our mothers have had the privilege of looking at it. I would allow my sisters as they understand but both live in other cities.

So that is my story. I am very sorry for your loss and hope you find comfort and support here. I can not even begin to express how much this site has helped me in my grieving.

TM, I hope you and your family are coping as best as you can?

Barbara, how is the renovations coming? Are you working on them again this weekend? Are you still in the 2WW? I have about 6 days until AF is due. I am certain that it is on its way and trying hard not to get down about it.

[Anthonysmom]

Hi ladies - sorry no personals right now. I am not quite up for them. My temp took a big dip this morning. AF shoul db here tomorrow. I really thought she might stay away. We got pregnant with Anthony so quickly that I thought it would happen again just that fast. I know it is naive, I was just hoping. Part of it is I wanted to be pregnant for his due dat which is soon, April 6. I thought it would help with the pain. I have one more cycle to get pregnant before his due date. Also if I was pregnant this month then the baby would be due in November. That is when ANthony was born and thought it would make November a happier month. sorry about the ranting, i'm just pi$$ed and sad and then I feel guilty. Oh and the OB called yesterday. She said that one of my test results came back saying I have MTHFR Gene. This can cause m/c. great. now I have to take baby aspirin and extra follic acid. So now I am depressed b/c I am back on the "it was my body that failed him". alright enough ranting. back to renovating my bathroom.

Barbara

[Simba]

hi ladies,

thanks for all the welcomes.

ok so heres my story... after a dream pregnancy i went into labour 3 days after EDD. laboured at home for 10 hours and then went to hospital. as soon as we got there they found bub was in distress so then had an emergency c/s. she came out not really breathing and was covered inside and out with meconium which had been caused by a knot in her cord. NETS came and stabilised her and cooled her core temp to 33 deg. (helps stop futher brain and organ damage) after 4 hours i got to see her for the 1st time briefly as they were taking her to new hospital with an NICU. after the longest night of our lives we were transfered to same hospital to be with Lani. i was expressing milk 4 her and each day the signs looked good however on the 5th day when they started to warm her she didnt have all the normal responses and the brain had been severly damaged. she could however breath on her own so we could take her off all the machines and hold her for the 1st time (something every mum wants to do but for us it was mixed as we knew that it meant that she wasnt going to make it) we were told she couldnt feel pain or hunger and so we "chose" to stop feeding her (the hardest choice i will ever make in my life) we then moved to "Very Special Kids" where we could live in a house with Lani - be a family, have people (and our dog) visit, go for walks, give her baths, take millions of photos etc.. these lat 12 days were amazing (she opened her eyes and made lots of little sounds) but also sad as we were watching her get skinny and then eventually pass away in our arms. from then - planning a funeral, getting a new job and all the while already hoping for a little brother or sister for lani.

so thats me - i could probably go on forever but i am sure this is enough for one post - sorry its so long (not sure if there is rule about how long they can be??)

[tempus moriendi]

Simba: of course you can join. I'm so sorry for your pain and I'll keep you in my prayers. We've all had different experiences, but what we all have in common is the pain of loss. That's how we can support each other.

jo76: thanks, yeah, we're hanging in there.
But hey, there's nothing wrong with a nice quiet evening at home. We'll be celebrating a late Valentines day next month by putting the kids to bed early and renting a moving and ordering food.

Katiegirl: glad you had some fun--you really needed some.

Anthonysmom: sending cyberhug--sounds like you really need one

[Katiegirl]

Simba thank you for sharing Lani's story. I am very sorry for your loss and I am hope you find support here.

Barbara - sorry that AF is on its way. And I hope they will be able to help give you some more answers on how to control your gene (which I can't remember what it was - too many letters sorry). I understand your frustration with AF, we also had no problems conceiving Nathaniel and I just think it will be too cruel if after losing our babies we then have to suffer the trials of TTCing for months. I just hope that both of our cycles have not been affected to greatly and that we will be back on track soon. I am now 10DPO and not sure what to think - temps still relatively high (for me) but know that the next 4 days is when I will see a temp dip. I don't think I am pregnant but of course we always hold our hope. I hope your week looks up for you and take care. Big hugs.

Hi Jo - a night in sounds lovely. I am so boring these days! I used to be a big social butterfly and my mother often despaired of my partying ways, but I slowed down a couple of years ago and now basically have to force myself to go to a bar. The bar on Friday night was fun, but outside where it was nice all the smokers had congregated and it was like getting hit all at once. Not nice.

[Auntie M]

oh, Simba, i just had to pop in to give you a huge virtual hug. this thread helped me through many a dark day after our son Yeti died at 39 weeks due to a cord accident that cut him off from life. we gave induced birth to him and held his sweet smelling little body for hours before they took him to the funeral home. i'm now in the pregnancy thread and trying to keep my sanity, but i stalk everyone here too just to check on everyone. i'm so crashing this time, but your story is so painful i had to offer some hugs and tears for your awful pain at losing your sweet little daughter. your journey has been so incredibly hard; i am so sorry for your loss and wish that i had some words that could comfort you and take the pain away. BB has been such a life line to me, to share thoughts and feelings that make others so uncomfortable and to be understood and supported. i hope you find that same small comfort here. big hugs my dear, and lots of tears. m

[Simba]

thanks for letting me share my story it really means so much i wish i had of found this sooner! i found out about the support groups around but decided they werent my thing at the moment. Very Special Kids offer a lot of support so that has been good but it is nice to talk with people on the same page "TTC again"

i am getting close to when AF could be here (my cycle never really got regular after coming off the pill and getting pg with Lani so i dont really know when to expect it) i did a HPT today - it was BFN - i knew it would be as its probably too early but sometimes can help myself (I'm guessing I'm not the only one that does that!) I'm sure it will be soon - i just would really like it this month then I would be due in Nov - the same month Lani was born. also, and i feel so selfish but am hating work so much so the quicker i can finish there the better! starting a new job was not the best choice with all this going on.

wishing you all a happy week