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Thread: TTC after Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth or Loss after the first trimester

  1. #91

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    Spring - Good luck with the scan tomorrow. Do you have a feeling on what you got in there? How exciting, the suspense is already killing me!! Wow on the increase in CM during pregnancy. I actually just did a HPT which came out BFN, which I expected as I am still 7 days off for AF. Oh, thanks for the positive thoughts, I hope so!
    Make sure you get straight on tomorrow and let us all know how the scan goes.


  2. #92

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    Hey girls

    I have been thinking about Chris (confused egg) the lady who has been in a medically induced coma since having her son almost 7 weeks ago. I know that most of her don't really know her, but I am been thinking about her poor husband and family as she lost twins in 2005 and this just seems so unfair. I understand her husband is driving back and forth between the hospital, his son on the otherside of town and checking on his house in Newcastle. I was thinking of organising something whereby we all pitch in with some practical things. Even if we get some petrol vouchers, organise someone to clean the house/mow the lawn etc so that her husband can totally devote his time to her.

    What do you think? I am not talking about a huge financial contribution. If say 5 of us pitch in $20-$30 that would be $100- $150 bucks. If this is too much or you want to donate more, then just whatever you can afford is more than enough. I just feel that we should do something/anything to help. If anyone is interested let me know and we can figure out how to organise it. I also have pleanty of baby boys clothes that I am sure Harry wouldn't mind sharing, so perhaps we could also put together a hamper to William her son from our angel babies.

    Just a thought.

    Luv Spring .

  3. #93

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    OMG Spring, that is terrible, I didn't know this had even happened.....count me in! What happened? Is there a link I can find here?

  4. #94

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    Here is the link Bailey

    http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/...ad.php?t=33863

    I don't know the full story but she had some strokes and is only just waking up.

    Life can be so unfair.

    Luv Spring

  5. #95

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    Off to bed now Mrs. B

    Talk tomorrow.

    lv Spring

  6. #96

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    Hi Girls,

    That is so sad about Chris (Confused Egg) I dont really know her but I cant believe how unfair life can be. Even though I am not in Sydney I would love to help her family, I dont have any "boy" clothes as we didnt find out Nicholas' sex before he was born but I do have plenty of gorgeous little outfits that have never been worn (although they were washed in preparation for his arrival) and I would be happy to post something up to one of you to put in from Nicholas, I know he would love that and so would I.

    Lynn - All the best for tomorrow. I really hope your FS can give you a plan and some answers and maybe some positive vibes for April cause I second that APRIL WILL BE OUR MONTH (pretty please with a cherry on top )!!!! I hope your ears feel better you poor thing, the fish sound like a beautiful idea and I can tell you now that my mum used to have a tropical fish tank and she found her little fishies very relaxing she could just sit and stare at them for the whole night. By the way, I love their names!

    Spring - All the best for tomorrow, I will be thinking of you and lil Spring and although it is absolutely killing me to know whether to look for a pink or blue pressie (you know I am really impatient LOL) I will be happy to wait until his/her arrival into your arms.

    Deb - Your easter holiday sounds wonderful and I really hope you enjoy it and come back with some good news (or at least not long after that), you really deserve the break.

    Bailey - Did you happen to use an OPK at all or are you just going on CM? I sort of agree with the other girls, I remember that when I was pregnant I kept running off to the toilet wondering if I was spotting because of all the CM... fingers crossed!

    Nat - Sorry you werent feeling too good, hope the "better" feeling hangs around.

    Hi to everyone else.

    Well if you hadnt noticed I have changed my ticker to CD1 which yes means AF showed up tonight at about 8pm. I didnt have all that much hope anyway considering she was due yesterday and I did a test this morning and it was BFN. I dont know why she felt the need to mess with my head because I can guarantee you I had my hopes up last night seeing as she has NEVER been late before (well not since I was pregnant anyway). But oh well what can ya do?

    My OB rang me at lunchtime today with DHs results... not the best WARNING: TMI FOLLOWING!... Count is high which is great, they swim well and last long enough which is also great but 90% are of "poor quality" which he believes is most likely the reason it is taking a while to fall pregnant. He thinks that the tension from both of us during TTC time isnt helping. I dont really understand how this can be the case when he has produced 4 healthy babies (Nicholas was healthy, I was the problem) and now all of a sudden this problem comes up. The OB said it isnt too bad a problem and that basically it just means that what might take another couple 2-6 months to do may take us 8-12 months!!! WTF??? I cant wait 12 months!!! I dont really know what to do. I dont really know all that much about these problems and in all honesty it never entered my head that this could be the problem. DH is obviously devastated and when AF showed up tonight he actually apologised to me which made me feel awful. I told him that he doesnt have to feel guilty everytime AF shows cause it is not his fault and he said it is cause his body isnt working properly. I said well if you think that about yourself technically I could say that it is my fault Nicholas died cause my body didnt work properly! He saw my point and said he will try not to worry about it but I can tell he is really upset. I have made out like I am not worried at all and that we just need to be patient and eventually it will happen. I would not be doing him any favours stressing out so instead I will stress out to all of you girls. Anyway, in a way its good to have answers... but I think I would have preferred not to have answers and therefore no reason to have problems iykwim.

    On a different note, we have decided not to wait to build a house and are going to talk to the banks about a full mortgage (very scary ) to buy the land and get the house underway. We fell in love with a display home that is absolutely perfect for us and our family situation (or planned one anyway). I knew we shouldnt have gone looking but bugger it, we may as well get ourselves sorted out before another bub comes along - especially seeing as it may take a while now. Talk about some severe retail therapy!!!! Not that we have bought it yet, but we are very seriously looking at our options.

    DHs kids are staying with us this week, except Wed and Thurs, until Easter Sunday and because DH has to work I am looking after them (YAY to a week off - although agency called this morning and asked me to work Thurs so I said yes seeing as they wont be here). We went and did some fun things with my sister, nephew and niece today and they all had a ball, so did I actually. The youngest (2 and a bit) keeps calling me "Mummy" and I dont really know what to do, I kept correcting her today and saying "no I am Mel" and at one stage I frustrated her and she yelled at me and said "no Mummy". DH says to ignore it and she will grow out of it but I am worried they older kids will go home and tell their mum that she does and her mum will crack it. Up until recently she has called me "Mel Mel" so I dont really know what has changed but now it is quite clearly "Mummy".

    Anyway guess I should be off to bed seeing as I have to get up with the kids. Sorry again for the long post but I dont really want to break any habits right? LOL

    Take care girls, Mel
    Last edited by Mel1977; April 3rd, 2007 at 12:30 AM.

  7. #97

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    hi ladies, I haven't had a chance to catch up on the thread, but will have a read and post another later. Just wanted to let you know how the 6 week check went. Having mixed emotions, all blood results and Phoebe's results were fine which is relieving, but then I feel guilty thinking the way they describe the cord entanglement, surely I should have felt her slow down, but the thing is I didn't notice her slow only that she stopped altogether, which leads me to thinking that she must have had a slow one, something I can not handle. I'm sorry to bring the thread down, I just needed someone to hear it, as its hurting so much. I guess the old saying is true, one step forward, two (quite possibly more) steps back.

  8. #98

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    Hi Klee :hugs:

    Klee, I can only imagine the pain you are feeling and at times like this words just seem so hollow - I can only say I am sorry... :hugs:

    Something I do know is that just because you didn't notice Phoebe's movemements slowing down it doesn't mean that her passing went slowly. Did you they tell you if she had an unusually long cord? Sometimes the baby does some flips and turns and gets entagled... YOu know there is absolutely nothing you could have done about it. That is bitter sweet knowledge I know. This was an accident a tragic accident but one that you had absolutely no control over.

    Sweetie, I am sending you lots of love and hugs... :hugs:

  9. #99

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    Hi Klee :hugs:

    Klee, I can only imagine the pain you are feeling and at times like this words just seem so hollow - I can only say I am sorry... :hugs:

    Something I do know is that just because you didn't notice Phoebe's movemements slowing down it doesn't mean that her passing went slowly. Did you they tell you if she had an unusually long cord? Sometimes the baby does some flips and turns and gets entagled... YOu know there is absolutely nothing you could have done about it. That is bitter sweet knowledge I know. This was an accident a tragic accident but one that you had absolutely no control over.

    Sweetie, I am sending you lots of love and hugs... :hugs:

  10. #100

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    Mel, I am sorry about your DH's swimmers. However, I believe there are some natural things that you can do. Zinc is really important for healthy sperm production, vitamins E and C and Folate along with b12 and b6. It certainly won't hurt and can only help so I would be heading to the healthfood shop! Folate should be taken with b12 and b6 - this aids effectivity and this combo is known to affect (in a healthy way) dna repair. I that in the next short while that bfp is coming your way. Yay about the house!!! That's exciting - we built the home we are in now and it was lot's of fun. I found it really enjoyable and we had a wonderful builder and a wonderful experience. I hope you have that too.

    Spring: Thinking of you today as you have your u/sound. Please come in and tell us how it all goes...

    Lynn: I am going to pop in and out to watch for your post. I am hoping that you get some answers and a plan today...

    Chelle: How are you???

    Bailey: I am hoping that you are having early pregnancy signs!

    I have some work to do today - the girls and I just finished playing barbies! Our second chookie has begun producing the goods so that's very exciting!
    It is a beautiful day here today so I am off outside for a while - I will be back!

  11. #101

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    Hi all,

    I hope everyone is well.
    My period is due in a few days and to be honest I really don't think I ovulated this month, which is unusual.
    ttc is hard enough as it is (it took 14mths to concieve our angel) plus we think that DH may have some problems (he's a type 1 diabetic) so I think I'm gonna be here for a long time!
    I really want to be pregnant, but i'm also terrified!

    Sorry for my whinge, just needed to get some things out, hope you don't mind!

  12. #102

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    flowerchild, thank you, no they did not mention the length of her cord, but she was very, very active whilst in there, so I guess she just got into trouble.

    spring, I would like to contribute, i would like to think that if I was in a similar position, people would help my dh and family out

    lynn I hope your appointment went well, waiting to hear

    hugs to everyone

  13. #103

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    oh and spring, I hope your u/s went well and that lil spring is blossoming

  14. #104

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    Mel: I am sorry about DH's swimmers, I can understand why he feels guilty but it absolutely isn't his fault. I agree with what Flowerchild said about taking vitamins to help their quality. I actually saw a thread about this recently, I'll see if I can find it for you. Although it is little comfort, you know that DH has fathered 4 healthy kids so it may just be a matter of time. I know how devastated you are every month that AF shows up, but I can only hope and pray that it happens sooner rather than later.

    Great news about the house though babe, we built our house in Brisbane and I found it a great process. We were lucky to have a smooth run. How exciting picking the design, paint, colour etc.

    Klee: Oh you poor thing honey. We have all been through the blaming yourself scenario. Look back on our posts and we have all doubted ourselves and blamed ourselves. I think that guilt is just the only way to try to understand such a tradgedy but I am telling you babe, you were a wonderful mother and there is nothing else you could have done. I agree with Flowerchild, just because you didn't feel a reduction in movements doesnt' mean that Phoebe passed away slowly. I know it is very little comfort to you but there are plenty of us who thought our babies were still moving only to learn that they had passed. I remember, after we had been told that Harry had grown wings and even after I had seen the ultra sound confirming no heartbeat with my own eyes, I could have sworn that I could still feel him move. Try to be easy on yourself. With big warm :hugs: babe.

    JLK: You are welcome to whinge whenevery you want babe. Have you been temping or doing OPK's this month to try and track Ovulation? It can take a while for your body to get back into the natural cycle. If you are worried, go and see your doctor, this isn't something that you should have to worry yourself about. I think that you can get blood tests to tell you if you have O'd (I might be wrong though) Flowerchild, Lynn or Dream will be able to help you with that info. Take care babe.

    Well: I had my scan this morning with Aunty Lynn in tow. Spring is doing great, all the things I was worried about with Harry don't seem to be a problem. I was a bit annoyed when I got there and they asked me to explain what happened with my last pregnancy after I explained it all the last time I was there. How's this for a tip, take some notes and don't ask me again. She even asked me how long he lived for. Here's another tip, he was stillborn, listen the first time. Anyway, I have forgotten about that now because the relief has set in, if only for a little while. I was a bit worried about the dates being a bit out (about a week for some measurements) so I called the doctor and he said up to 10 days is a normal variance. As Lynn can vouch for me, they had a new machine and the tech lady was there bascially stepping the ultrasound technician through it, so I wouldn't be surprised if she was a bit out due to inexperience with the machine. Anyway, the doctor assures me that the baby is the right size for the dates so I am not going to read anymore into it.

    Oh and I know you are all anxious to know and yes, they were able to see if there was a pink or a blue flavour in there. They were as sure as they could be for this stage of the pregnancy but I will get it confirmed in 3 weeks at my 19 week scan. And no Mel, I am not spilling the beans. I only told DH and I whispered it to Harry when I got home, I haven't even told the dogs (lol)

    I'll be around all arvo so catch up with you soon.

    Lv Spring

  15. #105

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    Hey everyone!

    Klee - I read your post and some of the words were like I had written them myself. Deep down I know it wasn't my fault but I can't help to blame myself so I know how you are feeling. Through this journey you will take one step forward and two back but you will eventually take a few more steps forward. It just takes time. On a positive note, it is great to hear that your bloods are all good. Big big hugs to you

    Jo - welcome back. We haven't seen you in here for a while. I hope you are doing ok. I feel your pain, it took us 2 years to fall with Cooper and now I am struggling again. I hope you have o'd this month and you get your BFP very soon.

    Nat - I will be thinking of you and your dad tomorrow. I hope everything goes well I hope you are feeling better today.

    Mel - I am so sorry to hear about DH's boys. It is very hard on the one partner that has the 'problems'. I blame myself all the time that I am the one stopping us from having a baby. While it isn't good news, at least you know and can sort it out. I hate the witch!!!! She is visiting too many of us at the moment. I hope she is kind to you and I know that this is the last time you will see her for a very long time. And because you asked for April to be your month so politely I think you will get it How exciting about the house! You deserve it! I hope you are ok with the little one calling you mummy. It must be so hard for you Mel, but you are so strong.

    Deb - barbies! How much fun! Hope those chookies of yours kick into action very soon. How's the witch treating you?

    Bailey - could you please send me a copy of that article. How weird that there was an article on Stillbirths then the next day an article on recurrent m/c. Hopefully this will create more public awareness and hopefully more research. My fingers are still crossed for you.

    Spring - how did you go this afternoon at the kennels? Have you had a chance to speak with DH about the scan today? Lil Spring is so cute!!!

    Well I went to see the FS today. He said that my body has not responded to Clomid and that I won't o this month. It is just hearbreaking that my body is not doing what it should. It is hard having to grieve the loss of a child and to struggle with TTC. I thought Cooper was going to be our miracle baby but here I am again, struggling to get my miracle. And I know that falling pg is the first struggle because then there is the struggle of getting to full term and having that baby in my arms. I am trying to remain positive. We spoke about the risks and benefits of increasing Clomid or going to FSH injections and IUI. He suggested going on the injections as he thinks there will be more of a chance of me o'ing this way. He has also given me some meds to bring on AF so we can start next cycle ASAP instead of waiting for the witch to arrive which could be whenever! So hopefully this plan is going to work. Not sure how I am going to go with injecting myself every day (Spring don't read that part!) But I have to remember what my dream is and get there any way I can. So the plan is injections, with monitoring via bt and u/s. I hope this works The main thing is I have a plan and I have something to get me out of bed each day.

  16. #106

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    Sorry Spring we must have posted at the same time. It just took me a while to hit reply.

    I am going to say that lil Spring is a boy. We both said it when we saw the profile that he looked like a boy so if lil Spring is a girl - I'm sorry! lol. Whatever it is, it is so special to have such a wonderful mummy.

    I was annoyed too when the lady asked why you were having a scan and what happened last time????? I can only imagine how you felt. I know they see lots of people but we were only there 3 weeks ago. I thought you were very brave and strong telling her the story again But yes you are right, don't let this bother you because you have a beautiful little baby growing inside of you who you will be holding very very soon. And Aunty Lynn can't wait to meet lil Spring too!

    Any hints?????????????????? blue???????????? pink?????????????? Come on!!!! It is killing me!

  17. #107

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    Lynn I am sorry that you are not going to O this month. I know how devastated you must be. I am amazed that they can give you medication to bring on AF. I hope she hurries the heck up so that you can start with the injections. You are very brave, you know that, and you know what, even though I would probably faint every time, I will help give you your injections if you ever need a hand. Just make sure there is a bed and soft surfaces nearby (lol)

    Nup, no hints about pink or blue. Not even telling my Mum and Dad but it does make it seem a little more real now. Not that it wasn't real before, but now DH know the flavour of Lil' Spring, we can start discussing names. Any suggestions for either gender are welcome.

    Luv Spring

  18. #108

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    Lynn, I am sorry my love that ovulation isn't going to happen this cycle :hugs:. However, you have a plan! Do you love a plan? I am a plans girl so plans always make me feel "safe"!
    Injecting every day isn't a hoot but it really isn't that bad. I had ten days of injections last month when I was pregnant and truly it's all over in a flash. I will be on FSH next month also if I don't have a few follies on the increased doseage of clomid. FSH gives an increased chance of pregnancy for many women without the effects of the endometrium that the clomid has. You are going to get that baby Lynn. It's there just waiting for the right time. :hugs: What a great friend you are to go with Spring for a Lil Spring sighting!

    Spring: So glad my love that the u/s went so well and Lil Spring is doing everything he /she should. I understand at keeping the sex a secret. You know about names... I told my DH that if I had another son I would like to call him Saul. Saul means long awaited one. My husband has an issue with the name due to an association so it's not going to happen here. I am one that likes a name to have a meaning... I thought I'd share...

    [Klee: I hope you are okay this evening... :hugs: We are all here for you as you go through this time...

    [Jo: Have you thought of using opk's or temping? That will help to give you an idea of what your body is up to. I found opk's took a few cycles to get right but after that I have found them a fabulous tool. I hope you get that positive soon. Remember it can take a good six months for your body to return to optimal fertility after birthing. Sending you lots of love...
    Mel, Chelle, Bailey - I hope you had a lovely day...

    I have been making hot crossed buns today (among other things!)- yummo I made a batch that disappeared in no time and batches 2 and 3 are on there way. I had better go it's bath time here!
    *See* you all tomorrow...

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