I have to get this off my chest, when they told me the bad news again, which I was just absolutly numb I tell you, it felt like the room was just spinning, they left me for what seemed like forever! I looked up at the screen(I refused to look at it the whole time) and I saw the wee what I will call baby(even tho I know it wasnt). It seemed so perfect and so still, and I just couldnt believe it was just there sitting with no movement. I cant explain how I feel this time, but Im so mad that God has taken another of my so much wanted and so precious children... Im a catholic, I go to church not all the time, but I do go, my children all go to catholic school, Im trying so hard not to be so angry at him.I prayed everyday, all the time for this wee soul to stay. NOw Im mad at this wee soul for not wanting to stay. I look at all my darling children and I think Im so blessed to have them, becausethey chose to stay with us...My youngest especially so, because the most of my losses have happened since I had him. All I wanted was a mate... boy was I wrong.This is probably all sounding so very wrong and I apologise, but I think I feel better thru my tears and sobs. I know Im also being selfish, because Lynn, you are waiting for some good results and here I am blabbing on. You are all wonderful woman who are all wanting the same results, and I know you will get them. Time is such an awful thing, when you want it now.
There is so many things I want to say to all of you, but for now just a big thankyou for all your kind words.
Much love Michelle