Chelle: YOu have every reason to feel as you do. I remember yelling at the Universe/God and telling her/him to just leave me alone. Leave my babies. I understand... I wish I could sit with you through this pain. It is a terrible pain and I just wish you weren't going through it. Your pain is no less than anyone elses. This is what this thread is for - for supporting pains and joys. Right now we are here for your pain.
I hope you slept okay - sending you a massive hug...