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Thread: TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester May 07

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    Default TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester May 07

    If you have found yourself in this forum you no doubt have had a painful journey. TTC after recurrent miscarriage/stillbirth or Late Loss takes special courage and support. The aim of this forum is to provide a place where women who have endured loss can share their stories, friendships, treatments and triumphs!

    My greatest wish is that you all leave this forum with nice big fat positives in the shortest possible time!!!

    I hope so much that this month is YOUR month for a

    If at any time you'd like to make a suggestion, or provide any constructive feedback for this forum, please contact one of your following moderators:

    Cailin - [email protected] Admin
    Flowerchild ~ [email protected]
    Tiggy - [email protected]

    or alternately you may contact Kelly at [email protected] (however she may take a little longer to respond at times!).

    We appreciate all your feedback as it does help to make our forums a much happier, relaxed place to chat! We will always take your comments seriously - all comments are treated confidentially...

    Also, don't forget to check out the informative BellyBelly Conception Articles.

    You will find the previous thread HERE


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    Happy Birthday to Harry - sprinkle a smile over your beautiful parents today... :hugs:

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    Tommysmum: I loved your post. It is so very true that we just don't often get it as humans until we have experienced the pain. The gift that this unthinkable tragedy does give us is an awarenes and understanding of grief. The reality of how fragile this life is and how we need to sieze the moment and live a life that is loving.
    Again, your post was beautiful - thankyou for sharing... How are you going? How many weeks are you now? You will have to get a ticker so we can all keep track!

    I am a bit snookered today - had a big one we have been down to the coast for DS footy and then to the beach for a swim and fish and chips.

    i will pop back tomorrow.

    Special thoughts and a very big hug and a cyber cuppa for you Spring...

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    Tommysmum - So true everything you said in your last post. You just don't realise what people must be going through until you are faced with it yourself. Last night DH and I had a massive cry and a talk....finally. And I said, which even shocked me, that if I had to choose between losing Asha the way we did or not having her at all and being none the wiser, I will still choose to have had her and go through this. not only because of what she has taught me about what is really important in life, but because I just love her so much, and I can't imagine not having her in my life, even as painful as it is. I hope that makes sense. My aunt lost a baby at 17 weeks about 20 year ago, and after we lost Asha, mum said she just didn't realise all thise years ago just what my aunt must have been going through.

    Spring - I think that like you, I sort of felt that I had everything perfect. Sometimes I still say to DH "This didnt really happen to us did it?" Woo, hubby home for good soon!

    Hi to everyone, hope you are all well.

  5. #5

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    Tommysmum - just beautiful. I have tears running down my cheeks.

    Bailey - I agree. While I wish Cooper was here, I would rather this than to never have known him at all.

    I wondered (once) would it have been easier to lose Cooper earlier on in my pregnancy. I have never wondered it again because if I had, I would never have met my little boy and enjoy his company for the special 9 months that I had with him. I am grateful for the time that I was given with him and while I wish it was for longer at least I had some time. My heart goes out to you special women that don't get to see, feel or hold your babies.

    I have had a very difficult weekend but it is nice to come in here and talk about our angels and remember them in the special way that we can.

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    Hi Lynn

    Sorry to hear that you have had a tough weekend. Sending a your way.

    Lv Spring

  7. #7

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    Hey Girls,

    Spring - I have been thinking of you today and hoping you are doing ok. I agree with you about next Sunday, I am absolutely dreading it - DH and I are going to do something nice together but I think it is going to be a really tough day. At least we will all be going through the same feelings on the day, I think it helps just to know you girls are there through it all. Sorry DH had to go back, 33 sleeps will fly by - as is your ticker, everytime I look at it I cant believe it.

    Lynn - I am so sorry you have had a tough weekend. Did you have a nice time at the ball or was it really hard? The amount of money you said they raised is amazing! Hopefully they can save someone else in the future from going through what we all are. Big for you and I hope you are ok, if you need a chat let me know.

    Bailey - I feel the same, as painful as everything is I would never give him back. I love him with all my heart and and very thankful for having the honour of meeting him and knowing him for all those months. Nothing will change the fact they are our babies and we just have to remember that they are as much ours as they were when we were lucky enough to have them in our tummies

    Tommysmum - Spring is right, there is some kind of instant bond that is formed between women who have experienced the heartache we have - whether it be multiple losses or a stillbirth. I also feel so close to the women in this thread and honestly care about each and every one of you. I never imagined I could care about people I have not met in person but I really do, and I think it comes from the mutual understanding we have of each other. I cannot imagine how hard it was for the women generations ago who lost their babies and firstly they were just taken away as if they never existed but then on top of that from what I understand society had the attitude of forget about it and it goes away. I think society still has a long way to go in terms of their compassion and understanding of grieving mothers but compared to those days we are extremely lucky. I can understand why those women still cry for their babies 40 years or so afterwards, I can not imagine not crying for Nicholas, nor do I think I want to stop completely.

    Deb - You sound like you have had a busy but nice day, you must be extra tired with your little bean zapping all of your energy - make sure you rest up and bub can have a snooze

    Hi to everyone else, hope you have had a nice weekend.

    Love Mel

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    Lynn I am sorry I forgot about the Stillbirth Foundation Ball until Mel mentioned it. You are very brave for going. I was too chicken as you know. I hope you are ok, it would have been really tough.

    Mel: How did the pasteries go? I would love to know what is in them, perhaps if you have the time you could email the recepie, that is if you are happy to share it.

    Well, time for some dinner for me, oooh I don't have to cook, just reheat, I am so excited it is pathetic.

    Be back soon.
    Lv Spring

  9. #9

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    Hey Spring,

    They were delicious - turned out perfect!

    I will email you the recipe, it is sooooooo easy.

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    Thanks Mel, just got the email and they sound glorious. Thanks for sharing. I am going to give them a whirl next weekend.

    Lv Spring

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    Hi all.

    I have had a scan through the messages - there were so many that I didn't read through them all!! I have been hiding away as for whatever reason I've been having a few hard days - well nearly two weeks!! But I am feeling much better now and looking forward to ttc properly this month.

    Congrats Flowerchild , that is just great news about your BFP, I hope more BFPs follow shortly.

    Hope everyone else is doing well.

    Lol
    Sarah

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    Lynn - i think you are amazing for going to the ball - how was it ? I received flyer from Sids & Kids the other day about a symposium on Stillbirths by Professor Froen - it was also in the paper yesterday. Was this ball a continuation of this symposium - do you know ? I hope you are doing ok, well better than ok.

    Flowerchild -i have my ticker up now (was going to wait until my next scan to see if everything is ok but for some reason i know that little heartbeat is still ticking away and i feel confident - i think i have forced myself and i talk about "when this baby comes" etc). How are you going - is the MS hitting you ?

    Spring - i just noticed my ticker is the same as yours - i saw the house and thought yes this baby is heading home this time round. Very appropriate. I can't believe you are over the 20w mark. Those numbers just look fantastic ! DH is away for another 33 days hey - just think how far you will be then - it is getting closer and closer for you. Are you able to visit him whilst he is away (where is he ?). Chin up

    Mel - you sound more happier in your posts - how are you doing ? I must say i have meant to comment on your webpage for Nicholas - i go in there from time to time to have a look - you have done a wonderful job and Mr Nicholas is such a cutie isn't he. His feet impressions are beautiful - all i have is a clay imprint (there was no one available at xmas to do more than that). And i don't have a full length photo of my Tommy - didn't even think about it (or getting any of his feet/hands) - bugger. Your photo's are just beautiful.

    Bailey - i am glad that you and DH had a good chat and cry - it is the best thing to hahppen, esp after any tension. So when are you testing next - i am very excited for you (and everyone else that is testing this month) and can't wait to see another BFP on this site.

    Thanks for all your comments about my last post - they are all so true. It really makes you think differently now hey. I watched the last 10 min or so of BB (didn't want to but was waiting for it to finish) and saw Kate chat about her experience - i am so glad she did as i hope that my friends were watching. I think some have forgotten about it - well they don't really talk about it. My younger sister still never has (and still to this day has never asked how we are going) - she will be the last one to find out my new news.

    Had a horrible night with Emily - she has had a bug for the last few days and been pooing her pants like you wouldn't believe. Well in the night she decided to do one everywhere - like an explosion - poor little chicken - i am going to have to starve her little tummy today i think.

    I hope i have covered all posts (there is so much to read here chatterboxes) and i hope everyone is doing fine. Hello to everyone else - take it easy and take care.

  13. #13

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    Good morning everyone.

    Well my weekend was a tough one for a number of reasons. I had a bt on Saturday and the levels still aren't high enough to indicate ovulation is approaching. I am going back tomorrow. I just don't know what to do now. I feel like my body is not responding to this either.

    On Saturday I also went to a symposium on Stillbirths by Professor Frederik Froen, Co-Chair of the International Stillbirth Alliance and has been conducting ground-breaking research into stillbirth for the past ten years. He works at the Norwegian Institute of Public Health, is a medical doctor and has two PhDs - one in obstetrics and one in paediatrics. Professor Froen is an international expert on stillbirth and has received some awards for his work, mostly working on stillbirth prevention, stillbirth classification, stillbirth genetics and identification of risk of stillbirth through fetal activity and fetal growth. It was targeted for health professionals but parents were invited to attend as well. It is good to know that they want to mirror the work that they did on reducing SIDS to reducing Stillbirths. There were people there from the Stillbirth Foundation and SIDS and Kids and everyone is keen to see Stillbirths get alot more public awareness and hopefully funding to help with the research into reducing Stillbirths. The hard part was when I asked one of the speakers where cord accidents fit into stillbirth classifications. They said that it didn't have its own classification because it is just so rare. I don't know if it makes it any easier hearing this. I guess if a cord accident is so rare then the chances of it happening again is so slim. But I just find it hard to understand that if it is so rare HOW THE HELL DID IT HAPPEN TO ME!!!!

    After the symposium I went home and got ready for the Stillbirth Foundation Ball. I had 19 wonderful family and friends that attended the ball with me in support and in loving memory of Cooper. The target was to raise $100,000 and by the end of the night they reached it, which is great. Professor Frederik Froen was there are gave a speech but the hard part was when he said that while we sit here in this room, someone in Sydney is preparing to give birth to a still baby. It just broke my heart and instantly I had images in my head of when I was preparing to give birth to Cooper. I just couldn't believe that it was going to happen to someone else. While it was a hard night, we did also enjoy ourselves, there were a number of auctions and prizes and alot of family and friends won them. We have decided that we are going to make it a yearly event. There was a beautiful quote on the night and I wanted to share it with you all:

    You were loved from the beginning
    And we will love you until our end.


    There were also some interesting statistics that were displayed on the night (deaths in Australia 2004).
    2,761 men died from prostate cancer
    2,661 adults died from breast cancer
    1,374 babies were stillborn
    1,209 people died from skin melanoma
    851 women died from ovarian cancer
    59 babies died from SIDS

    While all the deaths are a tragedy, what I don't understand is how all these deaths, except Stillbirths, receives funding and public awareness. The government has just launched a vaccine for women (free to schoolgirls and women up to 26) for ovarian cancer, (which is great) but when you look at how many Stillbirths there were why aren't we doing anything to change these numbers. I am sorry if this is too much for some people but I am just so passionate about the Stillbirth cause because if I can save one family from going through this, then that is enough for me.
    Last edited by Lynn; May 7th, 2007 at 09:39 AM.

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    Bailey - Asha - Happy 6th month birthday
    Mel – Nicholas Happy 8th month birthday
    Spring - Harrison – Happy 7th month birthday
    I was thinking of each and every one of you on the weekend, I hope it was the best it could be.

    Tommysmum, I was actually thinking something similar on the weekend, we had a tiler come to finish our kitchen, just as we were leaving he came up to me and said a few words along the lines of sorry to hear of your loss, he then went on to say that his wife lost a daughter just prior to birth 18 years ago and that they were just about to celebrate her 18th birthday. He told me how much it changed his life. Since Phoebe left us I'd often think that you know its almost as if nothing has changed, but so much has in such a short time, I wouldn't give any of it back.

    A few peoples words keep coming back to me that I wanted to share because they relate to all of us:

    a lady at work came up to me crying and said I can't even imagine how much you are hurting but I truly believe this was your way of meeting your angel.

    My family keep saying to me, its like a lifetime has passed since this happened, now I think yeah it has, Phoebe's and all our angels'.

    I just wanted to share that, you ladies are so beautiful and the strength and compassion you show should be a lesson for everyone.

  15. #15

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    Lynn... My love :hugs: it sounds like it's been a huge weekend. What a wonderful thing to do to go to that ball - for friends to come and support you and your DH and Cooper.
    I am sorry that your BT's weren't a bit higher. What have they done? Increased your doseage again? What size and how many follies were there? Sorry for all the questions...
    Just know I am thinking of you so much and I wish I could come and give you a hug in person... :hugs:

    Tommysmum: Yay on the ticker! I nearly chose that one too - simply for the home at the end! I am glad you have got one - we just need to believe in the joy of these pregnancies and TRUST that we will have an Earth Baby...

    Mel: You do sound so much better. I am glad the pasties went well! What cd are you up to now? It must be nearing BD time for you soon...

    Well, it is really cool and wet here today and I am feeling a bit icky so I am going to turn on the cooking show and do the ironing! Sounds like fun eh!

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    Lynn- sorry the results were not as good as you hoped. I hope you are doing okay.
    The seminar sounded very informative (will discuss more on an email) and so wonderful to hear the money was raised at the ball. Maybe the bb ladies, should start campaigning to get the government funding so dearly needed for this research.
    Mel – will see you there tomorrow night, DP is coming too. I will keep an eye out for you, I have an idea of what you look like from Nicholas's page, a beautiful boy might I say.

  17. #17

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    Hi everyone,

    Lynn - I am sorry to hear about your BT results. Fingers crossed that they improve by tomorrows test. I was thinking about going to the Symposium on saturday, but I chickened out, same as with the ball, I think maybe because it was Asha's aniversary, I was feeling abit sooky. I wasn't sure if I could cope, but I do wish now that I went to the ball. It is fantastic that you had so many friends and family turn up though.

    Tommysmum - I hope DD is doing better. It must be hard when you are having MS too. I watched that on BB too. It looked like they were not going to ask her about it at all for a while, I was sitting here fuming. Then they did and I just felt so sad for her. I am sure all the womens mags will be making a mad dash for her now.

    Klee - Thanks for thinking of us on the weekend, it really helps to know that everyone is here for support.

    Flowerchild - Do you ever stop? I have no idea how you find the time to visit us here, you always sound so busy you should be having a rest!

    Hope everyone is well

    I have an OPK question for the serial testers, I have been doing OPK's for 5 days and today the test line took almost 5 minutes to appear and it was pretty dark, but not as dark as the control. I can;t find the instructions, but I think I remember them saying that the line needs to be as dark or darker than the control. Is thet right?? They are the Ovunow ones from the Fertility Natropath site. I just can't remember. I have no idea where I am at this month, as my cycles are haywire, so I am just trying to do lot's of BD'ing and crossing my fingers.

  18. #18

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    Thank Deb. Don't apologise for all the questions. I know you are only asking because you want to help............and I truely appreciate you for that

    Today is CD20. The bt on Saturday was CD18 and my est was 298 compared to 205 on CD15. I am going back tomorrow but only for a bt. They want my levels to increase before they do another u/s. I had an u/s on CD15 and there was a follie there that was 11mm and then a few under 10. I am currently on 75 dose which I increased on CD15. I thought my levels would have gone up with the increase in dose. Maybe tomorrow they will They don't want to increase the dose too much incase they over-stimulate and then they will cancel the cycle. I don't know what I will do tomorrow when I get the results because everytime they ring me and the levels haven't gone up, I lose a little bit more faith and trust. I am just find it hard to stay positive at the moment when all I get is bad news

    Klee - thank you :hugs:

    Bailey - yes the line needs to be as dark or darker. Fingers crossed you get a really dark one soon. Just keep up the bedding!!! I understand that Saturday would have been a hard day for you. It would have been great to have you there on Saturday, but there is always next year.

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