.......... thanks heaps ladies, looks like meals to pop in her freezer are gonna be a * must * as she recently told me her DH doesn't know how to cook !!!
Being the mum of two year old twins myself the biggest shock to the system and most difficult thing to cope with for me was the lack of sleep. Neither of my girls ever slept at the same time and it was hectic to say the least. If anyone would have offered to watch one while I and the other had a sleep it would have been a godsend.
Also something that i have done for a friend is go and visit and while there do some washing up or clean the bathroom or something. They may tell you not to worry, but insist and they will certainly appreciate it
having twins that are currently 3.5 weeks old, I can safely say the most appreciative thing is the food, the housework whilst would be lovely - can always wait, I find that I'm only eating one meal a day because in between the feeding, changing, burping, I only have time to get around to a meal around 6-7 pm.
Even buying a BBQ chook with some salad leaves and bread rolls is the most appreciative thing!
Taking them some healthy food they can easily reheat is a winner, who wouldn't love that! Reading their situation I can't help but comment on the father..... Perhaps you can assist him in finding another days work (or even 1/2 a days work) and that money can pay for a cleaner once a week! So what if he is 55 and enjoys part time work, they chose to have more children and he should look after them. That may sound harsh but it's JMO
Thanks so much Cherish for your wonderful input ... (wasn't sure what your comment mean't about his age ... His a young at heart & fit for 55, though does have some recent health issues but that could happen to anyone at any given age, and yeh just cause one is older shouldn't determine whether they should be a parent again or not, i think you mean't it like that in a positive way Cherish )
His line of work isn't the same as mine or DP's so in that area we can't help him at all but he did mention yesterday that he is now looking for full-time work in his profession cause otherwise they are simply not going to make ends met financially with two newborns on the way, mortgage re-payments (they only purchased their 1st home last year), etc ...
DP & i spoke with them last night that they should get out together now more than ever, just the two of them before the twins are here and that we would gladly babysit their other child as often as they like !!
I had a few friends make me meals in the early weeks which was really nice but what I really remember was my sister making me meals in the last couple of months of my pregnancy. I was so horribly tired and uncomfortable I could barely function and I used to stop by her place after my OB visits as she was close to his office. She would always be making me a meal to take home with me. Honestly, after a day when I'd had to drive to the OB (which sapped all my energy!) coming home and not having to cook dinner was WONDERFUL.
In the first couple of weeks after the babies were born, I coped pretty well - you know, they sleep all the time and DH was home from work. Once they hit about 6 weeks it got really tough and THAT's when I could have used some meals etc. Or what i would have loved is someone to drop by and just put the babies in the pram and go for a walk to the park or something so I could have a rest or do something OTHER than look after babies!
Also, if you're going to go round to help, don't go there and say 'is there anything I can do' because all of us just say 'oh no, I'm fine, thanks' go in, look around and say 'does the floor need a vacuum, where's the vacuum cleaner' or 'shall I clean the bathroom for you' or whatever it is you want to do.
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