I think I would be a bit annoyed to have to pay for my own meal at a wedding especially as I probably wouldn't be able to choose what I'm eating (assuming its like most weddings and is either a buffet or set menu).

I know you said you wouldn't be getting presents but I know I couldn't show up to a wedding without giving the bride and groom something. So even though that would be my own choice, I'd still be forking out $$ for a present and for the meal.

I wouldn't have a problem having to pay for my own drinks though. A lot of people don't drink so you might want to cover the dinner but have people pay for their own drinks instead?

As some others have said a ****tail event is a great idea.