I too was going to say I prob wouldn't like to pay for my meal, but would pay for drinks. I wouldnt put money on the bar if I couldn't afford it, many dont drink etc & so on.
But you sound a bit down & out about it all.....so do what you have to.
But here are just some other suggestions - what about garden wedding & then a fancy BBQ in a nice backyard (yours or relative), could you get nieces, nephews or cousins to waiter, get some fancy meat & ask some people very close to help out with salads??
Or a Morning Wedding followed by a brunch - this is something I've known people to do...the meal is cheaper.
Or what about just a very small ceremony with those who are closest to you & then lunch out afterwards & they all pay their own way & know that from the start.
****tail is a lot cheaper also & I've been to three weddings on a Friday as that day is also cheaper.
There are several ways you can cut cost, I think often we just get caught up in wanting the "big white wedding" with all the traditional things.
You do what ever you feel is right & works for you.