wow thanks for the replies everyone

you have all given me alot to think about and obviously its not the right thing to do with regards to getting them to pay for there own meal.

i dont know what i am going to do, we might just have to wait a year or so to get married, as we struggle to live just in everyday stuff and live from pay check to pay check, and thats where i thought if they could pay for there meal that would help us heaps as i have already cut corners like you wouldnt believe, everything to the bridesmaids dresses, to a dress that i dont even like but its cheap so i will get it, its a dress and its white so thats all that matters, borrowing a flower girls dress that is way to big for my little girl and we arent allowed to take it in. but not to worry if you think it is really horrible to pay for a meal then i really need to set another date in a yr or 2, but then i am still in the same boat just different date as the guilt of even spending $6000 on a wedding when it could be giving me a round of ivf, i was hopeing that i would be able to do both, get married in a nice tactful way and do ivf. if i had to pick which one to spend the $6000 or however much it cost's i would probably rather spend it on ivf

but thank you for you honest replies

take care