Is this rude ? ... Wedding ... Couple asking for money as a gift !!

[smiles4u]

Oh, thanks so much for your advice

**** IS $50 or $60 stingy to give as a money gift ??????

... I'm by no means stingy it's just this family talks a lot about money & seems to put a lot people's success on how much money they earn or have ... not the value as you as a person !!

We would love to give more than $50 ($60 is stretching it) ... BUT we already going to spending a TON of money$$ that day on petrol as we are the night before the wedding day driving 2&half hours to get to DP's folks to babysit our toddler (we have no one else closer to do so) on the day of the Wedding. And on the day of the Wedding we will be driving about a 2&half hour trip again to the Wedding & reception, ... and then 2&half hours back to pick our daughter up & then another 2&half hours back to OUR home.

No money will explain how exhausted we will be from all the travelling BUT they are great friends of mine & I couldn't think about not going (so that's not an option).

THANKS HEAPS AGAIN TO ALL

[nic]

We suggested money for our wedding as well.
I had some relatives approach me to say they would not be giving money, as they buy a certain present for every wedding they go to, and then told me what it would be, which ended up being something I absolutely loved. We weren't offended by people not giving m oney or ho w much or how little. We did it mainly to stop getting more than one of everything or doubling up on what we already had.

Nic

[Lucy]

We specifically asked for no gifts ("We want your presence not your presents") as were already pretty well set up.

But we still recieved gifts: all of which are really personal and beautiful......a painting of where DH grew up, some hand turned book ends, some wine etc.

One of our friends did face-painting on all of the children at the wedding and then sent us a framed montage of all of the photos of the children with the face paints on.......it it was a wonderful unexpected "gift" that we treasure.

My point being that some of our friends and family went "against" what we requested, which didn't bother us at all.

They should be that wrapped up in each other on the day, and that joyful at sharing it with you, that they most likely won't even notice!

So my advice would be to go with what you want to do. A personal gift (regardless of budget) will most likely end up as more special to them in the long run?

[Lisa]

In our "wishing well", all the monies given were anonymous... and we had a table in which guests left cards... we figured that the anonymity of it meant that no one needed to be embarrassed by only giving $10 or whatever. The most common amount given was $50.

[Chocaholic]

I will be attending a wedding in November and they want money to pay for their honeymoon. I know that this is a common practice now (OMG, do I sound old? I'm not even 30 yet!) but I still can't get comfortable with the idea.

This couple has been together for 2 years or so and are living together SO they do have everything they need. Now I am trying to determine what to get them. Major stress as it will cost us over $1000 to get to the wedding.

[Mother Goose]

When DH and I got married, we were returned to our home State to get married as that was where everyone was. We asked people to be mindful that anything they bought, we had to transport back in our car and room would be limited so suggested gift vouchers as an alternative. Some people did that and we didn't care about the amount because we just wanted to celebrate with our family and friends. For the people who travelled from Vic for the wedding, they actually bought us a gift when we got back...

And for what it is worth, I think $50-$60 is perfectly reasonable. Only give what you can afford to give.

MG

[kristy J]

i think if you ask for money than one of those wishing wells are best too. some people may not be able to afford much and that way someone can donate $10 or $100 and everyone is appreciated the same.

its not uncommon these days but i honestly hate to give money.

[~Trish~]

I think $50 is very generous! Particularly after all of your travelling. I really don't think the bride & groom will be judging everyone's gift amounts, being a Greek Orthodox wedding there will be LOADS of guests so I'm sure they won't even remember who gave them what!

[cannedemma]

hi,
i reckon whatever you can afford is perfectly fine to give... my rule is always to try and find out roughly what the cost per head of the reception is and give about that... but depending on your budget this could be too much!

my husband and i asked for money in a poem for our wedding as well as giving option of ppl giving a traditional present... personally i think that if the couple lives at home and have never lived in a home of their own there is definitely something that they will need..

I found it rude when my sister in law and her partner asked for money when they got married when they had never lived together and didnt have anything that they needed for their own home... that made me a little angry, and i got them a gift instead because i think if u r going to ask for money it needs to be clear what it will be used for... on ours we actually made it clear that we were putting it towards a deposit for our own house so we could stop renting...

Anyway, good luck, only give what you can afford and if you are still uncomfortable with giving money the couple will not mind if you buy a gift!