I'm a bit of a stick-in-the-mud when it comes to this. I am not offended if people as for money (though I didn't do it myself nor would I) but I hold that it is the gift givers right to decide what to give in the end. After all receiving a gift is a priveldge not a right.

So if people ask for money but I know something that they would both like and use and dont' have, then I will give them the gift. I think it's nice to have someTHING from ME in particular on the celebration of their marriage. So I don't think it's rude to ask for money but I also don't think it's rude to give a present if asked for money.