Thanks ladies... I feel really queasy when I look at it, but it doesn't hurt in the slightest and apparently is ok to give to her. I don't know if I can bring myself to. Just so gross. Gah. Its called "rusty pipes" and has to do with my milk coming in and breaking capillaries. My breasts feel like they did when my milk came in before, do not doubt the power of flaxseed oil. Wowee.
I've been using the Tommee Tippee back to nature bottles, they work well. I think that using them has something to do with how relatively easy it is to get Lila back on the breast. Still not completely there yet, mostly due to my own laziness and fear of getting cracked nipples again... When it hurts to nurse her I start to really resent her and I just don't even want to go there again. I love my little bear.

Leyla- same thing happened to us here after vax. I thought we had a decent rhythm going then bam, back to no sleep. Things have worked themselves out though... As for weight loss- I didn't gain any extra weight with the baby so I was pretty much back to normal a week after the birth... I have put on a little weight sine though, I'm always craving fat and sugar. I found it to be helpful to make a huge pot of thick nutritious soup every few days and have it there in the fridge. That with some toast is quick and I'm satisfied and not eating too many bad calories and wasting money on junk...

Nettie- I go by the "one more layer" rule and also you can feel his tummy, its a good gauge of how warm or cold he is. Works for us. You can do a quick google search for grobags and there's a place from the UK that will ship them, even with exchange rates and shipping costs its cheaper than buying them in the shops here. About $50. And a huge range. Of course, I discovered them after I bought one for $85 here at a local shop. D'oh.

SG and BW- Thanks, it really is hard sometimes to have her so far away. And my friends. Sometimes I wish they all lived nearby and could drop by to help me a little, have a chat and a bit of sanity. DH's family are wonderful, his MIL was there for the labor and birth and helped out after for a week. But they're not "my people" you know? I talk to everyone via skype/webcam, but the connection here is a lot slower than the one over there so it is usually pretty rough trying to get it going and we revert to just talking usually.

SG- I kind of wish Lila would still let me wrap her to feed. She's such a nice little package that way. She wriggles and grunts and worms her little arms out every time so they can flail around. Last night she was on her tummy and wriggled completely out of everything- wrap, nappy, cover and all. was quite pleased with herself, kicking her feet around with no pants on...

Janine- Do you manage to get out of the house much? Sometimes when I think Im losing my mind the most I stick Lila in the sling or the pram and go for a walk, it kind of resets everything. Do you live in the country or the city? Part of what I enjoy about the walks are people cooing over her. Not the idiotic advice, but I take it all with a grain of salt so its funny.

Hope everyone is doing well and getting a little sleep. Lila broke habit and was up at 4am today, back down at 5.30 and back up at 8. I was so upset over the pink milk, I woke DH up at 6 in near hysterics. Then when she woke up he took her for a few hours, dong all the morning stuff so i could sleep. He's so lovely. And he got to see her at her charming morning best, she's really so sweet when she first gets up.