I'm sorry if I sounded a bit outspoken in my last post Simone... I think your situation has reminded me a bit of my mother's when I was a teenager. She was in your situation but over in WA... and her family was in NSW. We had no family over there and my mum was terribly isolated. We were also trapped, to a certain extent, because she was living in fear of the guy she was with. He was ex army too and an alcoholic. I felt helpless and frustrated with her for three years. She just didn't seem to know what to do. It was awful . Finally she did manage to get us out and I remember trying to flee in fear of him finding us... but luckily (we didn't know it at the time) he was also fleeing from the law! phew! We never heard from him again so assume he was apprehended and jailed.... he had a list of offences relating to embezzling. I'm not suggesting your situation is at all similar... just that my advice is probably influenced by this. However I do stand by my suggestion that you be a bit more proactive and not reactive to the wishes of your DH. You seem to be in this grey land where nothing is very clear regarding living arrangements / finances / responsibilites etc. You've just got to make the first domino fall and the rest will be easier. The first domino might be a divorce settlement. You don't need to share any more of your personal thoughts in response to this. I'm just trying to give you food for thought.

I'm thinking of going into Borders again tomorrow... anyone want to join me in the cafe corner? ... ETA: Not tomorrow! I meant FRIDAY! LOL