Good morning

Yeah we're going away this Thursday... we prefer to avoid peak times at holiday destinations as much as we can... DH can pretty much determine when he can take time off so we chose the tail end of the school hols. If V wasn't at school we'd go away when school was back to avoid crowds.

DH has taken V into his work today as a bit of a treat. I'm taking the boys into the city at lunch time to collect her. Might take Wade for a look through the state art gallery too if Niall has a nap/is settled in the pram.

Clean houses: I've offically given up. Can't be done. Can't be maintained. Been cleaning up after kids for the past 12 years. This house just isn't going to be perfect because it's old and the surfaces just aren't going to look pristine no matter how hard I scrub. Everyone dumps stuff and the more I deal with it the more they fail to realise what a mess it makes. So girls... my strategy has to be a bit different... because I have an older child/young lady who needs to be equallly responsible for the mess she makes I'm just going to let her and DH look at the unsightlinees of it all for a bit longer. In the meantime I'm going to spend more time out of the house. When I get out I feel much better becuase I'm not looking at their mess and Wade is generally better behaved anyhow. I could easily see myself becoming a slave martyr and I'm not going down that path. I am responsible for providing meals/clean clothes and other functions that are beyond their capabilities but as far as creating a Home Beautiful magazine standard for my family to relax and enjoy well sorry can't do! They are perfectly capapble of contributing to that! I'm not going to create a little princess and a pair of princes who think it all just happens mysteriously. Let them wallow in their filth. Of course I don't mind keeping Nialls's room tidy... but Wade is capable of putting his toys away on his shelves and he won't so I'm not going to show him that if he refuses then I'll do it anyway. I just won't get his Duplo down (that he doesn't have access to) until he puts his toys away.

Ok... kitchen's clean (I don't mind cleaning the kitchen and often it's the most tidy area of the house because it has a gate and everything has a place) so I'm going to get ready to go out...

ETA: The thing is, I'm a perfectionist too and if I don't learn to 'let go' of the mess around here it will drive me nuts. I think my life is challenging enough without me imposing impossible standards on myself... something's gotta give or else i'll lose the plot. I'm still going to hire a Mum's Assistant... we just don't have any ink in the printer (for the advert). Anyhow, going to email it to Dh and he can print it out at work. (Julie: I'm going to hire a retired woman to help me out at home for a few hours each week because i don't have any relatives in Melbourne to leave the kids with so the housework really suffers... as does my sanity!)

ETA #2 Mel & Rory: I don't mean to say that your efforts shouldn't be celebrated! Well done I envy you guys and also look forward to a time when I can relax knowing that everything is perfect... but I just have to accept that this is not possible for me now. Also, with a virtual teenager... it's a very tricky time... it's hard work educating them to contribute willingly rather then under threat of losing priviledges. Verity does go through phases of helping out... and she does her regular jobs willingly... but she still leaves a lot of clutter around and what's worse: she goes into my bathroom and takes things like my good tweezers and leaves them lying around in her bathroom! grrrrr! I know many mothers create rods for their own backs and with kids living at home for longer and longer these days I just don't want to let any bad habits or attitudes establish. Unlike DHs mother... I don't think you are doing your children any service by being their slave which is what you become if you do things for them that they are able to do themselves. I know this doesn't apply to mums of bubs Niall's age... so maybe I should vent elsewhere (although this issue does affect my parenting of Niall most days)... just thinking aloud... not criticising