Hey Sara, that was a massive post. Your night sounds like mine. I did get a lot done tonight despite Darcy not wanting to go to bed until half an hour ago. Even did my eyebrows and gave myself a pedicure (we have a party to go to tomorrow and I couldn't bare to look like I feel).

That's really sad about Chrissie for you. Can you email me your postal address please?

You know the funny thing about the PND is, once she said "Kim this is what you've got" I felt relieved kinda. Not better but easier. The clinical nurse specialist who comes here is referring me to a counsellor and I'm going to see my GP on Monday. I'm not sure what exactly comes next, but it feels better that someone has a plan, and I don't have to make a decision for myself. Only trouble is I go back to work in about 7 weeks. I don't want to have to take medication becasue they'll take my gun away. Cops aren't very nice about mental health....probably cos there are a lot of crackpots - comes with the territory.

Making a decision is really dreadful for me ATM, and I am really anxious all the time and unable to relax. I have become more compulsive about lots of stuff, and that takes up a lot of time. I even have to dress and undress Darcy the same way. I got those issues from my mum and I desperatley don't want to pass them to Darc.

Wow $150 for CC is fabulous! Around here it's about $70 a day. We would get less than $3 a day back from the govt so it's not worth it for us. And the lady's right about the one on one. Did you feel OK with her? Will you be happy to leave Briley in her care? Are you still going to go to uni?

Darcy's OK. Nothing to whinge about. Sleeping's still poo, and now during the day she wants to sleep on her belly but she wakes up bright as a button after half an hour! Not really enough time to do what I need. I let her stay up tonight becasue I couldn't be bothered fighting with her. We snuggled in my bed and I sang to her for a bit and that seemed to calm her down sufficiently for her to go to bed without a fuss.

Can't get her to eat solids though! She's so not a fan. Clamps that mouth shut....