Babies Born October 2007 #17

rallybbek · February 4th, 2008, 07:10 AM

Hi everyone,
I am coping about 80% of the time, hubby works long hours, 6 days a week, so I often feel like i am doing it on my own. The girls run and get me things when i need to. I will be going back to uni in three weeks! I finally decided that I have beeen coming last too often lately and that I need to do a few little things along the way to boost my own sanity! On Saturday, got my eyebrows waxes, eyelahes tinted and hair dyed. Just remember, if you are feeling down, try and a nice thing for yourself that you like, cause your happiness affects the whole family.
Love to all,
Bec

**ninja_turtle** · February 4th, 2008, 07:24 AM

kellied - my view on self-settling is this.... if your baby does it, cool. if not, don't turn sleep into a massive fiasco that they hate even more. if tahlia used to sleep well for decent chunks at night, and was a happy child, then you have no reason to rock the boat.

DH and i decided that giving the whole family grief now over the rocking thing, in the interests of making life better later, was just stupid. be it on our own heads if we have to rock him when he's 15. as it stands he goes to sleep in 3 minutes being bounced on the fitball and will usually stir briefly in the cot before he drops off. occasionally he takes a few goes, but i don't care. i get my cuddles, he feels safe, and we don't get kicked out of his circle of trust.

i believe going to sleep should be a nice, comforting thing for babies. you could try substitute another comfort for the boobie. or try going feed-play-sleep so she doesn't feed when she's tired.

anything you try will have to be mini baby steps coz they certainly let you know when you muck with the way they like things.

when i tried the self-settling we both cried. my instincts tell me that that is the wrong way to do things. nature wants us close to them... that's what i think anyway. don't upset both of you because you feel you 'should' have your baby doing a certain thing.

i'm not criticising self-settling btw, some babies do it from day one, others don't. i believe they know what they're doing and they'll sort it out in their own time.

**~kellie~** · February 4th, 2008, 08:00 AM

Viv - thanks so much, you made me feel a lot better. During her 1st feed this morning she was looking all sleepy, so I waited till the eyes started closing and un-attached, then just cuddled her close for a while and she dozed off... has been in her cot now asleep for about 30 minutes, so we'll see how she goes

I'm also not criticising self-settling, I 100% agree with what Viv said.. somethings work for some people, and don't work for others... I guess this is one of them!

**Saffi** · February 4th, 2008, 08:04 AM

Carp night - but L wasn't to blame. Was just really uncomfortable and couldn't sleep. Added to that the fact that my namesake (Saffi) was crying and scratching at the door keeping both DH and I awake. Anyway slept on the couch for a few hours, went back to bed and within 15mins L was squaking. Just a dummy issue and settled one it was back in. Feeling pretty shattered now, so might go back to bed while he is also asleep.

Nickers - agree that bubs like the taste of BM more. I have been feeding L EBM and then may do a top up afterwards with formula. Often he just scrunches up his nose and refuses to drink. Not sure if it is because he is full or just doesn't like the taste straight after the EBM. Other times tho he drinks the formula really quickly and seems to enjoy it, so who knows.
Kellie - hugs to you. In the end do what is right for you both. You're going to a sleep school at some point aren't you?

**~kellie~** · February 4th, 2008, 08:10 AM

Saffi - my health nurse has referred me, just waiting for their call, but I think tweddle do controlled crying anyway, so I don't know how I'll go!

**~Trish~** · February 4th, 2008, 08:11 AM

Absolutely Viv & Kellie! Just because something works for someone else, doesn't mean it will work for you and your bub. You really need to do what you feel is right, otherwise you will be causing a great deal of stress for yourselves when you don't have to.

I've had K in a feed/play/sleep routine since he was around 2 weeks old so it works for us. Getting him to sleep can be hard work at times though and it can be really stressful when I'm feeling exhausted. For some reason babies fight sleep instead of welcome it! Other times it goes really well (like 10 minutes ago!) and I feel really good about it all. I think everyone finds the whole daytime sleep thing stressful at some stage! Why doesn't anyone tell you that before the baby arrives??

**~kellie~** · February 4th, 2008, 08:22 AM

Trish - I dont get why they fight it... if someone tried to put me down for a 2 hour nap, I'd be grateful!

**ninja_turtle** · February 4th, 2008, 10:15 AM

funny... just after i wrote that i went to put james to bed and it's almost like he wants to do the last bit by himself now. he wriggled and opened his eyes then rolled over onto his side and out he went. he dropped his dummy so i put it back in (i'll confiscate it in 5 minutes) and he just struggled around trying to give in. i did a little bodyrock which actually seemed to bug him. when i took my hands off... out he went.

i knew he'd do it when he felt like it... he's his mothers son *eyeroll*

**Khaleesi** · February 4th, 2008, 10:26 AM

Thanks Trish & Nic, her cradle cap is pretty much gone

Viv i think I'm coping a lot better now we have a routine, Maddi is older & i know what her different cries mean, but there are still times when i don't know how i do it.

**visitor1** · February 4th, 2008, 10:32 AM

I self settle....worked for both girls. Might not for next bub but we'll see. Have to do what is best for you and baby....ive seen my sisters kids get rocked to sleep and she had major sleep issues for yeard and years...so i learnt from her 'mistakes' so to speak. Before we had a fall out she offered tips with sleep wise...and self settling was one. And not to co-sleep. Both of which i have followed and has been bliss for us. Im glad most of us ahve found something that works when its shut eye time!!!

Feed wise...Jasmine is dropping bottle sizes...200ml used to be polished off...now leaving 30-50mls....so back to small bottles. Sleep going well, growing great. Cradle cap is GONE!! (Well tiny bits of flakes now and then). Some one was talking bout in here not long ago....i tried alot of things and nothing worked UNTIL...i brought some Moo Goo Infant Scapl Cream....and ive never looked back. 2 days and it was gone!

This morning i dropped Craig off at work, Chelsea off at FDc and then Jasmine and me went to the shops and had a mummy Dd morning. Looked in the shops...bought some clothes, had coffee and cake...then came home had a play and now gone to bed

We also got our new fridge...Wooohooo!

**~Trish~** · February 4th, 2008, 11:41 AM

Hey all,

LOL Kellie - I'd be greatful for a two hour nap too!

Viv - WTG James for self-settling! I hope he keeps it up for you. It's getting the a point now that I am more an inteference for K going to sleep. Sometimes I need to walk away and he calms down much quicker. It's kind of insulting lol!

Mo - Yay for Maddi's cradle cap going! What did you end up doing?

Kim - Aww...your special mum-daughter morning sounded lovely! Hooray for getting your new fridge!! What did you end up getting? How are you feeling now?

Saffi - Sorry you had such a dud night

. I hope you get some good naps in today to make up for it.

Willow - Thinking of you today at sleep school! Hope it goes really well.

Joel has his first day of kinder without me tomorrow. I'm kind of nervous about how he'll cope, but I'm being optimistic!

**visitor1** · February 4th, 2008, 11:49 AM

Trish we ended up getting a Fisher and Paykel 517L thing from the Good Guys....they were nearly $400 cheaper then Harvey Norman....AND we even got it cheaper then what Clive Peters could offer us (and even cheaper then their cost price my friends hubby could get it for us) so good bargains! Im feeling much better today...glad its gone....i kept saying 'Its like morning sickness all over again' to Craig!!

**Star** · February 4th, 2008, 12:56 PM

Viv - well said about the self-settling or not thing - whatever works!! Teo does a bit of both to be honest - I give him 10-15mins to self-settle then if that doesn't work rock or give top-up feed. Most times he is asleep within that time, if not no harm done I say! As for coping - going great guns now! Between 3 and 9 weeks was a different story, but he is a much happier lil fella now. How are you finding it all?

Hee hee Kellie - am in total agreeance of that one! :-)

**YoYo** · February 4th, 2008, 01:36 PM

Girls, I seriously find it so hard to keep up with everyone....I'm so sorry!!

Um....Coping....I am coping, but like everyone I guess I have the days where I just want to walk into oncoming traffic!! All I have to do is take one look at Max, or nuzzle into his little neck and I am FINE!!

Bath routine.... I do a play, bath, feed, bed routine at the end of every day....seems to work for Max!!

He woke again last night at 2 for a feed.....I am wondering whether it is just because it is so hot here that maybe it's just thirst. I'm not complaining, he goes straight back to sleep anyway so no biggie for me. Maybe once it cools down here....he might sleep through the night again..... We haven't had one spec of rain for this whole year....erk!

Max has been a megga sleepy head today AND he's been sleeping on his BACK instead of his tum! YAY....he stays asleep longer on his back coz when he turns his head when he is on his tum, the dummy gets in his way and wakes him up. I always just rock him to sleep...it takes not even 5 mins, so no harm done I say. At night he usually goes down by himself....like last night, man he was good!!

I have noticed that all of a sudden Max is grabbing a lot more at things and shoving them into his mouth. He is also starting to sit forward himself....like when in his car seat he leans forward. He still hasn't rolled yet....but not worried. He is also starting to be awake a bit longer during the days (except today)! Anyone else noticing big changes happening all of a sudden!?

He is being a megga fuss-bag on the boob ATM. Off...on...off...on...off...on! Like he is just playing with it!! Sigh....I'm sure he is getting enough though....I'd know about it if he wasn't I'm sure!

Have a good day everyone...get well soon those sickies out there....AND good luck at sleep school willow.

becky · February 4th, 2008, 02:20 PM

Kim - I would looooove a new fridge at the moment. Ours is too small now. I do not think our finances will allow that at the moment though. What is this moogoo stuff you talk about? Where do you get it? Chels has mild cradle cap and that stuff sounds great!

Nerida - Sorry you had a tough night. Hope tonight is better!

Self settling - Liam never self settled til he was about 4 months old, but I was fine with that too. Chelsea only goes to sleep on her own (yes little miss is already very independent!) If I try and cuddle her to sleep, she either wont (will start playing) or fidget and cry if she is really tired. The minute I put her down, she is out like a light!

**Willow** · February 4th, 2008, 02:41 PM

Well we're back from sleep school and we survived! True to form, he slept like a trooper there, but just put him down at home and he didn't go down so well

He's asleep now though, but i had to pick him up for cuddles a few times before he settled.

He settled and even resettled beautifully while we were there! Made me see just what he is capable of and that maybe instead of rushing in there at the first cry, step back a bit and give him a chance to do his thing and wait for him to let me know if he needs some help.

Can't say there were any lightening bolt moments. Just went through stuff I already knew but perhaps reaffirmed that he WILL get it in time if I am consistent. The nurse we saw also helped me to see that I just need to focus on one sleep at a time and not think about what has or might happen at other times.

Funnily enough, there were 4 other babies there today, all around the same age as DS. As the nurse said "Does that tell you something? This is NORMAL baby stuff."

It definitely helps having someone there to support you though. I can't say I actually had to do much settling today though which is a shame. We were asked if we wanted to do a residential stay (ie stay for 3 or 4 nights) but at this stage I don't think it's warranted and would just be a huge interruption to the whole family, especially DD. So what we've done is booked in 3 day stays for the next three weeks. That way I'm still getting lots of support if I want/need it, if not, then no harm done and we'll be going on the days when DD is at preschool so it works out well.

I was dreeeeeading having to see the psych team there and going through my sorry tale again, but got a pleasant surprise because the nurse already knew i was seeing someone privately, so she figured there was no point. So that was one less thing to worry about.

I felt bad for some of the other mums there, some of the poor babies were having a much harder time than DS and were crying sooooo much. Their mums and the nurses were with them but made me realise that things could be a lot worse than what we've got it!

**~Trish~** · February 4th, 2008, 03:04 PM

Willow - So glad today went well. The little rascal sleeping a little too well!! It does sound like you are already doing the right things. IKWYM about not rushing in there, I am learning this lesson right now! I had a rough time with Joel who wouldn't sleep because of an undiagnosed dislocated right shoulder (birth injury), he would just cry and cry and I knew something was wrong and couldn't just leave him there. I suppose this has passed on to my method with Kieran and I have to learn to take a step back for a minute or two, it usually works much better that way so I am discovering! It really is a learning experience for both mum and bub. Anyway

hugs to you, you did good today!

Becky - Wow you are so lucky that Chelsea goes to sleep so easily! Don't EVER take it for granted lol!

Julia - It's amazing how they seem to change overnight isn't it?! Max sounds like a clever little boy!

Kim - Wow what a bargain your fridge was! I love a great deal like that! We had a similar experience with our dishwasher, we got it $300 cheaper than anywhere. Glad you're feeling better.

Kieran is having great sleeps today, what a good boy! I have been a good girl and cooked dinner already while he is sleeping so it isn't such a juggling act later. I'm starting to get some really cute laughs out of K now, it's sooo cute! He is such a happy 'lil man, when he smiles his whole body wriggles like he can't contain himself! Awww....