I came here shortly after I lost Angelo as I was in a fog...

On Sept 25, 07 I gave birth to Angelo, Ayone and Aneirin, perfect babies, just tiny.

Angelo's delivery was traumatic, and he was not breathing on his own, they found he also had PDA and it wasn't closing so they had to go in to repair it. On Oct. 2, they went in to fix the blood vessel and he never came out. He was with me for a week and the one thing that haunts me to this day is I never once heard him cry, he was on a ventillator the whole time.

I went through the motions, had his service and continued with my vigil at the hospital with is sister and brother.

Ayone (pronounced Ay oh neh) was doing great, other than the lil things, we were getting by. She ended up with NEC, and the infection that ensued was to much for her lil body to handle and she became my angel Oct. 29.

I miss them sooo much yet I still have Aneirin, and don't know what to feel... I never know if I'm supposed to be grateful I still have him or let loose and cry for days for my angels. Everyone tells me take one day at a time. Okay I'm doing that, when will it get better...

On an up note, Aneirin comes home in 6 days, and time to get ready for class so he can come home.