oh, Polymnia, i am so sorry for your loss of Angelo and Ayone. what pain for you to lose two precious children. of course you should cry for them. they are your children as much as Aneirin. love and be joyful for Aneirin, because he is a loving, precious gift, but also allow yourself to grieve for your two lost babies. you are right, a day at a time is the best you can do, and sometimes hour by hour. be good to yourself, it will take so much of your strength to care for Aneirin and to grieve for Angelo and Ayone too. allow yourself to feel what emotions take you, and let them go through you as they will. it takes time, and a lot of it, to wade through the grief. it took me 4 months before i thought i would ever smile or laugh or have a good day. now i have some, and still some horrible ones. i hope you can find some support in your family and friends, here on bb, and perhaps a support group or counseling nearby? i'm sending you big hugs, and know that Angelo and Ayone are watching over you and are a part of everything you do. they love their brother Aneirin, and their mommy too. xxoom

ps i'm sending good hopes for Aneirin's coming home to you.