Doza,

So sorry to hear about your loss, deepest sympathy to you and your DH.

We lost our second daughter at 32 weeks from an infection. The easiest part of the grief for me was the first week or two. It sounds so pathetic and uncaring i know but honestly it was. Although you go through the motions of saying goodbye for the last time and the funeral but I always had that little voice telling me this isnt real shes going to be bought to me any moment now and its all been a mistake. It wasnt until it finally hit me that she wasnt did it really kick in. The emotional rollercoaster was terrible. Just seeing another baby would make me cry. I keep thinking why were other people allowed their littleones and I wasnt. Its all normal you feel hurt, angry, frustrated and the most hardest is blaming yourself. Its extremely hard for a few months but slowly you heal. The best way for me to look at it was she was in heaven, lucky enough she has been taken to a better place and will not have to go through the terrible things that life can bring such as what us as parents are going through right now. I also used to imagine talking to her in a park or on the beach at night as I was falling asleep. It did wonders as crazy as it might seem.

It never goes away but slowly over time you will notice it slows down. You start to not think so much about the actual loss and more about you little one in a happy delightful way but the pain will drift in every so often and it does break you down once again.

I am really sorry and do wish you the best.

"Our little angels are sitting up their looking down and one day we will be doing the same with their hands in ours"