Doza - i am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful precious Emily. my words cannot begin to express how i am feeling for you. You will be feeling such a gammut of emotions, just go with whichever one takes you, no feeling is right or wrong, just take care of yourself and dh and know that you have him standing by your side today.
I lost my daughter Phoebe at 37 weeks in February this year, to i guess what can only be described as cord entanglement/cord compression, although we really have no answers, so we don't really know if what happened will happen again. So push for whatever answers you can get as you don't want to have to go through this again.
Mel and Tommysmum suggestion of sids might be worth looking in to when you're ready, its an in-person forum where you talk about your experience and support is provided by women and their husbands/partners who have been in similar situations/experiences.
Thinking of you today on Emily's funeral, i look back at Phoebe's funeral and as hard as it was it was actually probably one of most beautiful days I've ever had (I know thats a hard description to give to such an occassion but thats how I look back at it now), so thinking of you today.