thanks becky and lesty, i think thats whats wrong with my DF. He told me last night he has mixed feelings, one part of him wants to have a baby with me right now, the other wants to wait a while. The reason is he wants to be there for me all the way and he doesnt want us to be like his parents. He told me how his mom heavily pregnant would stand out in the rain waiting for the bus because they couldnt afford to keep a car running and he doesnt want that. I can understand that, i do but it doesnt help the pain or make it easier especially when it seems everybody you know is having babies.