Thank you all for your support. Yes my friends are aware that I know about the message. There was nothing so bad said in it, just the fact that they thought so little of how I could have been feeling and assuming how I was feeling. I went and saw the friend who sent it about 3 days after I had the D&C and she is the one who has the relatively newborn child. But like I said, I am fine with seeing babies, what was meant for them was obviously not meant for me this time around. I work with children everyday as a nanny and don't believe that I have the right to resent either a healthy child nor an excited parent.

Megsmum my diabetes is not what I would call poorly controlled, but I am always extremly high. My 3 monthy HBA1C is always around 9 and has been for the last 10 years after being diabetic for 19 years. If I am under 7 I get extremely sick, so in order for me to have this so called "perfect control" (doctors opinion, not you) will take me forever to achieve. I am otherwise healthy. We are looking at maybe just accepting that I will have these readings permantly, but the obstetrician, who was not old, maybe about 40, found this to be a point to lay every accusation he could upon.

I am at the point where it is not losing the baby that is my problem, but the attitude of everyone else, who's words can not be taken out of my head.