My Story

[Jaycee]

I am so very sorry for your loss.
I have no advice but I just wanted to offer my support.
I am sickened at the way you were treated whilst birthing your beautiful boy, may he rest in peace and fly with the angels.
xxx

[angiel]

Hi darling,
I am sooo sorry to hear of your loss. I hope that you are taking good care of yourself and taking time to grieve for your beautiful miracle baby.
I lost twins at 26 weeks on March 25th. Please know that all these feelings that you have are very normal.
In terms of support please know that there is so many beautiful groups/people around to take ypur hand on this journey. One of them is BB, they are a beautiful group of women who give invaluable advise and love. I have joined SIDS and Kids and SANDS, both are very welcoming and supporting. So far I have attended a group meeting at each organisation, it has changed my outook on everything, and I would highly recommmend group therapy. Everyone is different of course, and all in your own time. There is never a 'right' time. I attended my first meeting 4 weeks after the event, but I felt like I was ready to open up to this type of support.
At my first meeting, I admit I was terribly nervous and unsure I was actually ready to do this, but once I started telling my story I was immediately welcomed with open arms.
Group therapy is the most amazing experience as you are in a room with others who know exactly how you feel and the depth of your loss.
Please feel free to PM me as I am in Melbourne and more then happy to help in any way I can.
Take care and sending you hugs

[mummytogirls]

We had Maddison's name written in the sand by a wonderful lady named Carly

To Write Their Names In The Sand: Maddison Lee Helps

You can contact her I think every Friday.

The other website is (free)

ImageChef - Customize Photos, Clip Art

The other website that I use is (free)

Maddison Lee Helps Online Memorial - GoneTooSoon.org

I love lighting candles for Maddison and other angel babies.

I think it has helped me with my grieving process.


I think its a great idea to write out all your questions. I did as well.

What are the chances of it happening again? And if so what will happen next time
Can I do any thing different in my next pregnancy.

I found after having Maddison there were so many things that I wish the hospital had done differently. After 2 months I returned to the hospital and spoke to the midwives in the ward where Maddison was born. I told them the good and the bad. They seemed to take it on board and said that unless they are given feedback then they never know if what they are doing is ok. And it is true until you have lost a baby you don't know what is helpful and what is not. I also made a little sign to hang up in the room for future families.
http://forums.bellybelly.com.au/foru...ng-advice.html
After doing this I felt I had a lot of closure and was able to move on and just remember Maddison as the beautiful baby that she was with out any negative feelings.

Best of luck. I hope you get the answers you are looking for xx

[Miss.B]

Hi hun,
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss, RIP beautiful Roman. Losing a baby this late in pregnancy is so very heart breaking ,I know. I've lost my son at 20 weeks too, he was so perfect and beautiful. I went to my 20 week app. and found out I was having a boy and he was perfect. In a couple of the still pictures he did a 'thumbs up' gesture with his hand and I really thought all would be OK. I was pretty nervous thoughout my pg, so I really thought he was telling me he was OK and not to worry. A few days later I lost him. The 'thumbs up' sign really haunted me for a long time, and now I know he was telling me that he was OK with going to heaven.
I found a lot of support with SANDS as all women there have had late losses and talking openly about your own loss is very beneficial and helpful because these women have been in your shoes and they understand you. I also see a psychologis who has taught me that what happened wasn't my fault (I blamed myself for a lot of things I thought I did wrong like lifting a watering can, vacuuming the house, going for long walks etc). In reality, none of these things contributed to my m/s, I was just looking for something to blame. I now realise what happened was so out of my control. This has helped me to move on.
Having a supportive partner, family and friends is also very beneficial as is this site which has helped me soooooo much (thanks everyone!).
I wish you strength and peace, and thank you for sharing your story. You are a very strong woman, and I've no doubt will get through your loss, although you will never forget your son and your love for him.
You're in my thoughts and prayers. Be gentle with yourself hun.
Beata xxx

[AngelRomansMum]

Thankyou again for the replys, and sorry for the losses, i wish we all had different outcomes *hugs* xo

I'm glad what im feeling is normal, i know that when i get pregnant again, ill be more aware of others around who may have these same feelings, and if i notice it, i'll understand.

I also hope i get the answers to the questions, but you never know what their going to say, i think im going to feel sick waiting before they call my name out coz i am a very anxious type of person when it comes to results.

Rachel, i think its great that you wrote up a list of things to do for other families!, you are a great inspiration and thinker, i wish all hospitals had that list, and i wish i had done a couple of things on that list..also thanks for the links

Lisa, im also sad that you got a first app at 19wks, its not right to get an app this late, i thought this hospital i went to would have been good because im about 10mins away, they may be local/close but not good quality, im happy to hear with your next pregnancy you got better care!

I'm also glad to hear of good experiences at the group meetings, i dont think im ready for that yet though, but for you that have you are brave and im glad its working for you x

Beata, i understand the blaming completely, because i do question what i could have done different, i am reminded by others theres nothing i could have changed, but i do wonder if i could have got an earlier app and saved him, at 20wks losing hurts so much,because your starting to make plans and getting the attachment with the kicking, and the baby bump just starting to grow, and become noticeable, i feel your pain *hugs*

Thankyou everyone again xx, i will keep updating here as much as i can.

[Turkish Delight]

RIP little Roman.

[AngelRomansMum]

I hate to vent in so much anger but i am getting sick of centrelink!!
First it was getting the bereavement forms off the hospital
My boyfriend and I werent told that he couldnt fill in his side of the form

So he did, then centrelink let us know that because we arnt considered partnered
We had to do it again, but they eventually changed their minds and let me cross out
All of my boyfriends side and put my initials, then they said all they need now is my
taxfile number,

ok so i ring the taxfile office about 2weeks ago, they give me a number
I didnt realize at the time it was only 8 numbers, but gave this to centrelink
They then send me a letter requesting the number again, i figured it must be wrong
So i had to ring the taxfile office again (which takes hours every time) and got the missing number,

i then call centrelink again (family assistance office) straight away to give them the correct number they said i could give it by phone, so i did, i asked if i was going to get hassled again or if that is it.. she said you have done everything, thankyou, thats all bye.

NOW today, they have the nerve to call my dad, this morning, to ask him for my taxfile number or to remind me to give it to them WHAT THE ???? i am so seriously P*SSED OFF!!! im SICK of dealing with this crap, i am NOT calling them again and then being hassled and having my dad hassled, i thought i had DONE EVERYTHING THEY NEED!

So my dads going to deal with them tomorrow, and let them know i have already given the number and if they need it, give it again, and that i DONT want to be hassled again.
Also, on the letter they sent me, it says the number needs to be given by the 19th June, if it isnt, then i have to lodge the whole bereavement form allover again, which means finding my midwife to sign it and everything,

so IM HOPING that when my dad does this it gets through, and they DONT need it again, because i am sick of this crap, i have enough emotional crap to deal with right now, and i just want to get the bereavement payments so i can pay for my sons headstone and a little holiday and MOVE FORWARD!!! i'm glad i got this off my mind, but i really am so angry with how long this is taking!!

If they try and hassle me for it again i am going in there and complaining about the whole thing because im not having it again.