thank you all so much for all your support. it means so much to me that there are people out there in the same sitautions and are all willing to help others. it really truly does mean the world to me, i thank you all with all my heart.
well tuesday night me and my partner sat down and talked and i cried so much and he said he does care with all his heart he is just trying to be as strong as he can for me to help me through this and he said if he sounds like he doesnt want to talk about it or that he does, he some times sounds like he doesnt want to talk i can tell in his voice but he says he doesnt mean to sound like that at all. so that was a huge weight taken off my shoulders.

just a question if anyone may know an answer... when is it safe or when are you allowed to try to have another baby? from this experience it has made us realise how much more we want to try and have a family but it will be when we have healed from this experience and when we are totally ready and not before.

many thanks for you help and everyones support.
my heart goes out to you all too.