Hi everyone - I am relativly new to this forum, but just wanted to share my story. I have lost my baby nearly 4 months ago at 11.5 weeks gestation (bub only measured 8 weeks) and have ben really struggling to come to terms for the first couple of months, and I mean STRUGGLING.

I would not be able to eat or sleep, I didn't want to see or speak to anyone and the emotional pain has been so unbearable, that it would physically be hard for me to breath.

Despite the pain being so raw, I was getting better gradually, and the past 1.5 month or so I have been feeling a lot better. I was beginning to gain back the meaning of life and my hopes for the future ahead, and everyone around has been saying how proud they are of me.

Anyways, to cut the story short, it has started to come back to me a few days ago. The father of my baby, who I was broken up with because of the pregnancy has come back into my life now, making it more unbearable then the first stages of my loss. Just like back then I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't do simple task, I always want to cry and I feel so jealous of other people's babies, especially my partner's first child. And after all, he has the bloody nerve to tell me to stop toturing him and that the mother of his child was a virgin before him, hence why she ended up having a perfectly healthy baby, and I have had "quite a life experience", therefore I should blame msyelf and the things that I have done in the past if I want to find the reasons why our baby wasn't meant to be!
Can somebody please help me cope or something, becasue I really don't know where I am at he moment or what to do. Does this grief ever end or easen up? Or it jsut keeps on coming around in circles like this?