Well - yesterday Zachary would have been 3 months old. It was a bad day for me. I have also just got out of hospital after having my gall bladder removed (from gall stones that developed during my pregnancy). So I have been feeling very sorry for myself.

I still wonder why this has happened to us?!?! We wanted our little boy so much. I keep trying to imagine what he would have been like but I just can't picture it - which upsets me even more! I seem to be heading into a slump again. Hating the world and finding it hard to see anyone with children. I feel so guilty about my friends who have recently have babies as I want nothing to do with them at the moment. I just can't share in tyheir joy. I don't wish anyone ill thoughts, I just can't share in their joy when we have lost our son.

We are looking at ytrying again once I recover from this recent surgery but at the same time I am petrified! I guess I will deal with that one when it happens.

Hope you are all ytaking comfort from each other and your families.

Theresa