I treat my kids how they need to be treated with their individual needs. Whilst the same principles are there I may set boundaries differently based on results I also know that Paris likes to be shown love in different ways to Seth. In a lot of ways they are the same but in so many ways they are different. I guess I am lucky in that I have 1 boy and 1 girl (I just reread your post liz and ditto) so they will never be the same and their differences will probably help them to not feel less or more iykwim? I think the most important thing to do is communicate everything. If I can sense Paris is ever feeling upset/jealous or anything instead of telling her to get over it we talk about it until she can understand that whilst her feelings were valid for her in the moment she misunderstood the situation and the same amount of love for her exists as it does for Seth. As a result my two kids adore each other, they never fight (and that could be the age gap too) and they are very close. I'm sure there will come a time where its Seth's turn but we'll deal with that then. So don't worry too much about doing things differently so long as you listen to your children and help them to deal with their feelings no matter what they are.