I'm struggling with this one too with my second daughter due in a few short months. I'm beating myself up over stupid things - DD#1 had a beautiful new cot and matching drawers, change table etc. DD#2 is going to be in a cot borrowed from my SIL and a home made change table. I know they won't know but I feel badly that its different - as if I don't love my second daughter as much as my first "anything is good enough for her"!

I agree with the others (in theory!). I think you need to treat your children differently because they are individuals. I think the important thing is that both feel equally loved and important in their parents' eyes. You can't protect them from everything, but if your boys know they come from a home where they are loved and treasured, that is the very best you can do.