Not tactless Kmn, you make a good point. I think that's why I was really struggling with continuing to take them - I really don't sit we'll with the message it sends my DD and it seems that apart from packing up and leaving (which I have done a couple of times), I can't completely protect her from the behaviour. As I said above (I think we posted at the same time), I think I know the answer. It just sucks. Thanks again.