Both my mum and DH were with me when I had DD. I think I might have said to mum "I'm not doing this anymore, you can do it for me"
I also remember one time looking at the clock and saying "I have to go home and feed the cats"
When I first went into labour and the midwife came to my house to see how I was going, I told her that I was going to have the baby by lunch time that day. My waters had broken at 2am that morning. She just said "we'll see" lunchtime came and went and then I decided I would have the baby by dinner time and be in my room able to have dinner. Dinner came and went as did breakfast the next day!
Yes i also thought i sounded similar to Darth Vader when i had the gas!!!!!
During transition i told DP to call my sister because i all of a sudden didnt want her there anymore as i was in too much pain lol....
I remember asking for an epidural and the midwives said 'oh no we will just try the gas and then maybe the peth.... i turned to DP and yelled THEY ARE NOT ****ING LISTENING TO ME!!!!!! lol oopsie
Also i needed to pee really bad while i was in the last stage and my student midwife said 'oh do you want to hop off the bed and go to to the toilet?' i replied 'THERE IS NO ****ING WAY I CAN WALK TO THE TOILET RIGHT NOW - GET ME A ****ING BEDPAN!!!!!!! lol
ummm also the usual i cant do this, im never EVER having sex again, get your hands away from me!
OH and.. Im pooing!! 'no your not!' YES I AM!... no laura you are not pooing... IM POOING I CAN FEEL IT IM SORRY!!!!... FWIW i didnt actually poo.....lol
After I had my epidural I could hear the lady in the next room screaming and kept telling my midwife that 'that lady reallllly needs an epidural' and 'someone should go and tell her how good this is . . . she needs an epidural'. Apparently I was quite insistant
After both my births when they lifted each of my babies on my chest, I am another one who kept saying over and over again 'it's a baby'.
While I was in labour with my 2nd The Bold and The Beautiful was on tv. I was watching it to keep my mind off things, anyway it was at the time when Brooke was going to tell Ridge that Bridget wasn't his child but was in fact Erics. At the end of the episode she chickened out and didn't tell him. I yelled out mid contraction "I KNEW SHE WOULDN"T TELL HIM!!" Everyone in the room was in fits of laughter.
The funniest thing that I realised years later, is taht called that baby Brooke! She was not named after Brooke on B&B.
When I arrived at the hospital I had to lie on my back for monitoring which was the most painful part of the whole labour, I grabbed my husband by the scruff of the neck an said "Nicole Kidman is never going to be able to do this"!!!!!
I remember saying "I cant do this and i want to go home" and my doula said to me, remember what the books said, you're going through transition and i said to her, Dont you DARE lie to me, i have only been labouring for 5 hrs so there is NO WAY i am going through transition yet- i then promptly continued to spew in the bag they'd given me
I also remember at this time that the middie said, well i think its time to move to the birthing suite (i had laboured in my hossy room) and i said What for?? - She said well you want to have your baby dont you? and i replied, well i am not walking to the birthing suite and the middie said, no hun you won't have to walk, ill get you a wheel chair - i laughed at her and said you WILL NOT be able to find a wheelchair in a maternity ward cause they are only for people who have broken their legs WTF??! - Anyway, by the time my OB arrived to watch me birth DD the profanity had set in and when DD was crowning - i actually sang "Mother ***ker this hurts" to the tune of happy birthday?! - My OB said he wished he'd brought his dictaphone to record it, he had never heard anything so funny - My DH said he could not believe it when he heard the lyrics coming out, he thought i'd lost the plot
Last edited by ~Gee_Whizzy~; June 10th, 2009 at 10:31 AM.
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- My DH said he could not believe it when he heard the lyrics coming out, he thought i'd lost the plot
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