Just looking back, The OP hasn't replied yet about any of the posts to her OP.

I would be interested to hear how she feels about children being present. She only said she didn't want her DD to be there. But why? Is it because she feels that birth is traumatic? maybe reading others birth stories where siblings have been present will help her with her choice about having her DD there or not.

If grandma lives 4 hours way, her DD might not be comfortable with her. I am just assuming this because of distance, may mean visits with grandma are not as often as if they lived closer.
Birthing a baby can be a traumatic event but with the right information leafding up to the birth like others have posted I think it could be a beautiful family thing.

FireFly said that she feel it was nice for the new dad & mum to spend a little bit of time with their new baby.

I think having the older sibling involved with the birth as much as possible could actually help alot with them adjusting to the new family member. It may help them understand that this new person is a part of the special bond that they share with mum & dad. I think having a baby is a family thing, not just a husband & wife thing.