With my first pregnancy I was petrified about labour. I was afraid of the pain and didn't know how I would get through it. I just kept telling myself though that it would be over soon enough and that I would get through it and soon would be looking back on it wondering why I had been scared. Once the contactions started all my fear disappeared and where replaced by excitement that the baby was on it's way and I would finally get to meet him/her. I did NOT want an epidural but after 36 hours of labour pains I was only 2 cm dilated and exhausted and gave in to it with great relief.
With my second pregnancy it was the same. I was scared in those final few weeks of the pain again (DS labour was very long and difficult)to the point where I felt sick with anxiety. Again though once those first few labour pains kicked in the fear disappeared and I got excited that the baby was coming (and my long tough pregnancy was finally at an end). DD came fast and there was no time for any meds. I was screaming my head off but I made it through and now I can't believe that was 5 months ago already.
You will make it through too, just keep in mind the end result, that tiny little baby that's waiting to meet you
I definately feel more scared the second time round as my first birth was traumatic and i guess i'm carrying alot of stuff from that. I 'don't remember feeling all that scared with DD, just trusted my body would know what to do but it didn't co-operate and i had a posterier baby which is notoriously painful and traumatic. Now i'm scared of having a 50hr labour again only to end up with an epidural forced upon me and a forceps delivery. I am also scared of what the ring of fire will feel like but the thing i'm scared the most about is PPH again as it triggered anxiety issues for me and i felt like crap for weeks. I'm also super scared of tearing after having an episiotomy last time and that my varicose veins 'down yonder' will burst though i've been assured this won't happen.
I'm not sure I'm scared... I'm not looking forward to it, though. It hurts, and I think it will be quick, so I'm a bit worried about having really full on contractions, and of tearing. And also of having the baby at home, or in the car on the way there.
I'm more scared that something will be wrong with the baby.
I'm looking forward to it being over and just having her on the outside, because I won't worry any less about her, but at least I'll be able to see her
I want a VBAC this time and have discussed it with the doctor who wants to wait and see. I am petrified of the pain of another c/section but I am scared of the risks the doctor outlined to me for a VBAC. I know they are minimal and I shouldn't be scared and I have read a lot, but this is my body, this is my baby. At the end of the day the consequences are mine and mine alone. If it doesn't work out and my baby dies, I am scared of that. I have to live with my choices for the rest of my life. I don't want to be reasoned out of it, I think I just need to think about it for a little while.
Due to my last experience, it scares me to death to have to recover from a c/section in hospital. I don't want to be dependent on anyone else because last time, the midwife I had completely disregarded me and my pain. It scares me to have to depend on someone to care for me when they clearly don't.
I am also petrified of a VB. I have done it twice before and I don't want to do it again. I don't like pain, in fact, I downright hate it but it doesn't scare me. It scares me to be entirely at the mercy of whatever midwife is working at the time of the birth. The two VB's that I have had have been about what they want for me, not what I want for myself. They didn't seem to understand that I had been labouring for a very long by the time I went to the hospital - my labour was 39 hours long before I asked for an epidural because I was just so tired, I couldn't keep going. The midwives decided that I just needed my waters broken and wouldn't get me an epidural until a couple of hours later and even then they stalled the person that came to do it because they didn't think I needed it and wanted me to do it without. It was about them and not what I wanted.
With DS I told the midwife I felt the need to push within an hour and a half of my waters breaking. She just laughed at me and told me I didn't. After an hour and a half of panting through contractions, I was given an epidural to help me not want to push. Over the next 2 - 3 hours, DS made his own way down the birth canal and came out in one push (they went to do a VE - the first one since I went into labour - to see where he was at and his head was pretty much out). They didn't listen to me. They just laughed at me.
I hate that I am kind of aware of what is going on in my own body and what it is that I want/need but it becomes about them. I feel so helpless and so dependent and there is nothing that I can do. I tried being more aggressive with them with DS but I don't think it got me very far. They still weren't actually listening to me. I hate being treated like I don't know my body and they are the 'experts'. I wish they would listen and do what I ask -if I want pain relief, I don't want to beg for it. If I don't want it, I don't want it forced on me. It scares me to have so little control of what is going on.
I am not sure I have overcome any of these things. I have serious trust issues with the people providing my care but due to me being a high risk pregnancy, I have very few options about my care. I feel really stuck between a rock and a hardplace.
I am dealing with it by praying for a fast labour and birth where I don't have to see any of them and it all happens before I can worry too much. Birthing at home by myself while looking after 3 kids, doesn't scare me nearly as much as having to have midwives that just don't care.
I was scared in my first pregnancy until I read a book by Juju Sundin, then I felt quite confident. However I had a long labour and ended up pushing for almost three hours which basically crippled me for a long time afterwards because it severely exacerbated the SPD I'd had in pregnancy.
So second time around, I was scared of exactly the same happening - not scared of labour as such but scared that it would take me so long to recover again (18 months before I could actually go for a decent walk) so opted for a c-section. Best thing I ever did.
Yep, I was scared during my pregnancy with DD. I had committed to the VBAC and there were times whe I thought, I could just book in a repeat c/s. For me, it was the fear of the unknown, even though I read books and birth stories and listened to a hypnobirthing CD. Actually, that's what helped me I think, the hypno cd. With the c/s I already knew the procedures, as I'd been through it. With a VBAC, there was the whole unknown and potential risks.
Now, if I was pregnant again I think my fear (trying to squash it as I don't need to think about it yet) would lie around the transition pain and tearing again.
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