What role does the father of baby have in the decision of where & how to birth?

[Trillian]

I know some women wouldn't even hesitate to answer E, but while a woman's bodily autonomy is vitally important, this is also his child you are giving birth to and to completely dismiss his thoughts or opinions effectively dismisses how much you value him as your partner and your child's father kwim? THis is just my personal opinion though.

For me, it is a clear 'C'. I needed more than anything to have my DH's uncompromised support and I felt that it was important for both of us to have equal input. I knew I would be fine with the birthing caper, but I needed him to support me fully on a few things that I wanted so we both worked together on that if he had any reservations etc.

I know this birth is going to be really tough for you to prepare for and I can see that this is what is driving this question for you, but I think you will get what you *want* from this birth only if he fully understands what you need from it kwim? There isn't any point in a point plant E response because that may get him offside and make him feel like his opinion isn't valid and he may not be able to support you in the way you need him too if he feels like that. Not saying that E is what you would be choosing, but there is a lot to be said for working through decisions together.

ETA - wanted to add too that while it is C for me, I see that as meaning I would put forward my reasons and then I would let DH put his forward and hopefully we can come to understand why each of us wants what we do. I don't think that means a compromise on my part because ultimately it is my body - so for example if Dh wanted me to do something that was damaging for MY body, but at the same time not affect the baby then it would be a flat refusal on my part, things like C/s or repeat epi etc.