Good point Trill - I am only going with E now because I know I cannot trust DH. If he showed me he could, then he could be there. It's open to negotiation right up until labour. If I'd have ignored DH's wishes with Liebling it would have seriously affected our marriage for the worse. Just cos he ignored mine... well, took a bit of working through. But I had to give him the chance to be there for me. Now he has screwed up, just gives me leverage for option E. Leverage that wasn't there when Liebs was born. But DH also wasn't into informing himself or talking to me about my options, he just didn't want to know at all.