He's ****ed. His first reaction when I told him was "we're not going". I told him not to be so hasty and we'll talk about it.

I think I'm mostly disappointed because I've always been happy that I didn't have a family who did this sort of thing, and didn't care about breast feeding around others. I've always been thankful that my family didn't make things difficult and were always supportive. And now I've been made to feel almost like an outsider and that hurts.
Oh sepata, how sad she's decided to make an issue out of something like this.

FWIW, she has no right to ask you not to bf in the church or anywhere else for that matter, or to request that you cover up. She could have put her request a lot better, something along the lines of: "By the way, just so you know, I have some very conservative older members in my family who might get their noses out of joint if they see you bfing. Just warning you in advance so you aren't upset if they say something to you."

As for bfing in photos...

I would ever so politely reply:

"Thanks for letting me know about your family's prejudices around breastfeeding. As you're probably aware, given all the debate that's going on at the moment, Isaiah and I are legally entitled to breastfeed wherever we like, including within the church itself (which we have done before in other churches without incident). No one is allowed to ask us to stop breastfeeding or move. I can't say that I won't breastfeed him in the church, because I'd prefer that he not disturb anyone by crying loudly and none of us want to miss your special moments. It's highly unlikely anyone will be watching us anyway, given how beautiful I'm sure you'll look! And unfortunately, Isaiah refuses to feed under a shawl and will scream quite loudly if I try!

I will of course, not breastfeed in your photos, since it's the way you'd like to remember your special day. Although I would think it's very unlikely that your photographer will take pictures of the two of us feeding.

[DH} and I have discussed this at length and are both in agreement on what I've said here. We are both very much looking forward to your wedding day. I hope what I've explained puts your mind at rest."

I really think her request is out of line. If she's included babies or young children in the invitation, then she should have expected they'd need to feed. And I'm sure she isn't sending the same request to bottle feeding mothers.

I would be cross, but it's really just a sign of her discomfort with both her family and breastfeeding. You might want to point out that he's unlikely to want to bf more than once or twice during the day, if that's the case. If not, she can lump it.

Ruin her special day by breastfeeding, give me a break.