Thanks for the thread Sarah - you're a gorgeous woman and i love ya!!! *mwah*

Hmm.. ok... most people know my story anyway.

C/S with DS because I didn't have the faith - or knowledge - in my own body that I would be able to do it - so took my sister's path - and chose to have an elective c/section for no medical reason.

Four months after his birth - it hit me like a brick wall that it was not the right path I had chosen. I did not bond with my son - and still to this day, have trouble connecting with him. I did not breast feed either, and didn't feel guilty - hey, I had no connection to this child, why would I feel bad?

After first C/S recovery wasn't too bad - had a horrible epidural experience first time round and then allergic reaction to the morphine made me chuck up all the time, was worried about busting my staples.

So I was SOOOOO determined not to repeat that experience. I had nothing to be scared of, never the fear that my body couldn't do it, cos I hadn't done it before.

Got pregnant when DS was 9 months old. Determined to VBAC, I lined up an excellent OB and knew my hospital was very pro-VBAC.

For some reason, DD decided to stay there, two weeks late and no sign of moving. No prelabour, no sign of anything happening whatsoever. Cord was failing, placenta was deteriorating, best to do a c/section.

I have many regrets about not trying hard enough before 42 weeks to do more of the old wives tales to try to bring on labour. I didn't give it my all to try to bring it on, thats what disappoints me. I hate the fact that I have long babies, and a short midsection, so they get lodged in my ribs and are hard to get out. I had bruising on my chest from the two doctors pushing down in surgery to try to get her out because she was stuck in there so much.

I hate the fact that I couldn't do anything for the first week after the section, I hate the fact that I got an infection in my uterus that laid me up for a month and might have ruined my chances for further pregnancies.

But I'll be damned if I'm going to be disappointed the next time. Next time, I'm getting my bloody VBAC - and thats THAT.