Good for you for listening to your intuition Marydean! I think it's wonderful that your choices turned out to be the best for you.

I only wish my intuition was as strong, then this would not have me going around in circles Though I guess it is a fairly big indication of where my intuition is at if I can imagine screaming at anyone who tells me to open my legs (because it will hurt not just at the time but I will all the time be worried that it will actually lead to me being disabled after the birth) whereas I can imagine being put onto a trolley with my legs together being very peaceful.

I'm not sure how you feel about this next point but I also need to safeguard my mental health. I've had severe depression (before babies) in the past which has been triggered by me thinking I'm stupid or that I've done something wrong. I know that if I have a VB and it leads to another long recovery, then I will think I'm stupid for repeating the same 'mistake' and will then be at high risk of becoming depressed. If, on the other hand, I have a caesar and it still leads to a long recovery, I won't feel so stupid as at least I tried something different.

Bloody confusing this whole thing.