I would be inclined to back off and give him some time at home. I know it seems like giving in, but honestly how much is he going to learn while hating school so much. Is 12 days if schooling worth the emotional drama this is causing in your whole family. In my experience negativity breeds negativity. You need to break the cycle. I would try and get some work from the teachers to do at home and keep him home until after the holidays and try again after a break. Would the school accept this as an option do you think (not sure how many sick days etc are allowed).

Defiance is not necessarily bad behavior or naughtiness it can be a cry for help and attention. Only you know your child, but my motto is when they are having trouble (often seen through meltdowns) hold them closer, cancel the stress points and be more available. We are trying to create stable happy adults. Education is not effective on a stressed brain. Also your son is more likely to listen to you if you listen to him.

Good luck!