Hi Butterfly, I too have a child who is more prone to meltdowns than most others, so I feel your pain. He is also quite strong for his age, so man-handling isn't always an option here either. It's incredibly frustrating when you don't see eye to eye with your partner on parenting issues that should be jointly handled - I really think getting you and DH on the same page should be a priority (easier said than done, I'm sure!).

Is there any particular reason your son does not want to go to school? Is it pure laziness or something else going on? Is there a language barrier at school for your son? Does he also find it hard to communicate with his teacher and peers? Is the work too hard/too easy for him?? Does he have friends at school? Are you able to socialise with any of his friends outside of school to help build their relationship, thus giving him a reason to want to go to school? Is home schooling an option??

Do you think these issues will continue when you are in New Zealand? If so, I think you should continue to try addressing them now. If you think the move will solve it all then I would tend to go with whatever works to get you through the next few months. Sometimes you have to pick your battles. Good luck x