He's an absolute twit and I hate him.

Oh, sorry, that's my DH, who is EXACTLY the same. B@$t@rd. We've been together over five years and married for over one and a half.

Sorry, just a bit ranty about this: My DH thinks I can't budget because the loan for HIS car eats up so much money. He doesn't understand I get a year of maternity payments, which is at about 70% of my wage. He wants to be more "secure", but he'll be less so if he annoys me again and I leave him because he makes me feel worthless that I'm not good enough to bear his children. I hate him.

Normally I don't hate him, just your post reminds me of all the bad things about my DH!

Oh, I'm never going to have children now! I'm already at 80% fertility and falling, DH is on about moving house in 3-4 years before we TTC, I have stupidly long cycles: I bet he's going to wait until I'm dead then meet some stupid young thing who marries him for money and breeds with her. As for stupid cars... if he can afford £2000 on a gearbox and £400 on an exaust and all the rest we can afford a baby! I mean, they cost nothing for the first nine months (I already have a lot of my maternity wear - or at least stuff I can use as maternity wear as my mum still buys me clothes to grow into every Christmas), our parents want to buy baby things, and it's not like they come with a huge food bill at first. I hate my DH and I'm going to die barren and childless. Oooh, I need a "proper" job, because clearly having a good pension, job security, lots of holiday and great antenatal care and a wonderful creche, not to mention part-time availability when I return, isn't the reason I took this job. What's so wrong with me that we can't have children?

OK, I understand that when we've paid off the car loan and changed the mortgage we'll be better off by about £300 a month - less than what I'll be losing on maternity payments. And it's easier to change the mortgage with no dependants. And we'll need a car with back seats when we have a baby and DH won't sell the car to pay off the loan on it, nor will he stop playing with the car he's building. I understand that my work owes me a lot of backpay that we do need. I understand that we want to finish the repairs to make the house safe, but TBH all we need to do now is finish the bathroom, which won't take 9 months, and re-paper the house - again, just a couple of weeks hard work. That I can help with - I wish I was little and girly and fragile and he didn't even think that I could help with DIY, let alone ask me or expect me to know about different saws or be able to carry heavy things around. Ah well, I guess I can spend all the money that I would have spent on a baby on cosmetic surgery so at least I look OK, even if I am so worthless no-one will ever want a baby with me. Then again, we may need another mortgage if I were to want that. I mean, I'm never going to be called "tiny" by anyone who hasn't just put a tape measure around my waist, nor can we do anything about what my lovely family calls "child-bearing" hips.

Just put a load of pins in the condoms, Peachy, or forget to tell him you've come off the Pill. I think that's the best way and I should never have reminded DH that he was now in charge of contraception. Believe me, if he really wants children he'll be happy if an "accident" happens - otherwise, he's been lying to you. I'm on day 29 and no sign I'm even nearing ovulation, save sore tingly breasts yesterday; I usually O on day 30-32 so even my body doesn't think I'm good enough for a baby. I just hope I'm not going to stick with the 8-week cycles, 6 weeks is bad enough!

Trust me, I wanted to TTC since we married and DH knows this and I've been feeling like this ever since. It's not worth it. It really isn't. And I hate the way he'll tell me that he wants children - does he ****. If he did, why isn't he trying to get me pregnant? You either want children, or you don't, or, like my DH, you're a lying whatsit. Golidlocks, with my DH was more like yours - nothing is more important to me than my children, I just wish I had some! Or a DH who made his family a priority, not his stupid car.

Sorry, no good advice as to how to convince him, but I'm just terrified my TTC date will keep getting pushed further and further back for no good reason and I'll never have children. It's not worth living with this.

Can people help me too?