For you both, Peachy and Ryn.

It's odd, but not very long ago I was in exactly the same position - I wanted children, DH just wouldn't discuss it, and was still saying no.

Then... I stopped taking the pill. It was completely accidental at first, I'd started another medication on the same day as I stopped taking the hormone pills for a withdrawal bleed. This new medication made me so sleepy at night that I would just fall into bed, and after the week was over I had got so used to falling into bed at night that I just never resumed taking the hormone pills. I remembered three days later, I told DH another three days after that, and then handed him a pack of condoms.

Then things went strange - DH suddenly started wanting to BD every night - and he wasn't using condoms! Then things got weirder, and eventually we talked and decided now was the right time, we were both ready to have kids, so bring it on. That condom packet is still in the bedroom - only ever used one.

After that, things just got sad... I come from a family of women who conceive extremely quickly (and in fact get pregnant by accident when they aren't supposed to be able to - and I've got PCOS. We've gone from being excited about TTC to jumping pretty much straight into assisted conception. I stopped the pill in November, in December we started trying, in February I first saw my GP and in March I was diagnosed with PCOS... April saw me start metformin... May is just a month of utter frustration and confusion.

I know this is long... but from my experience, men make decisions very slowly. They need to come to the decision in their own time, and any actions to try to change their minds need to be done slowly and subtley. I'm still not sure exactly what it was that changed my DH's mind - the number of babies that have been born around us recently, maybe.

I wish you both lots of luck in your quest to change your respective DH's minds - when confronted with the reality that it doesn't always happen straight away, they can become as sad and obsessed and frustrated as us.

BW