Tony Robbins talks about 6 human needs - will post more about it later (getting sick of iphone typing!). when we are out of balance with an issue like this, we're operating out of one of those needs too much. It fills a need in us and until we realise it and change it, we'll always be stuck there and not grow.

The six needs are 4 main essential ones and two ideal ones for real growth:

Certainty
Uncertainty/Variety
Significance
Connection/Love

Growth
Contribution

Maybe Colin can give a second opinion, he's been doing this much longer than me, but I think this situation fuels your need for certainty. I'll explain it more tomorrow but basically we all need certainty, but at a high level it can be destructive.